From Nerve Cowboy #13 Spring 2002

 

 

A NOTE FROM HOME

 

Gerald Locklin

 

 

when the goodlooking, 45 yearold woman

at the pool, with whom toad is always

kidding around, announces that she is in

the market for a new boyfriend (her present

one of tenyears duration being unable to

tear himself away from his dog in hawaii

to join her in california),

 

toad replies,

(as all the other men have)

"look no further!"

 

momentarily caught off guard

(he being sixty),

she recovers with,

"i'm afraid i'll have to ask for

a note from your wife."

 

"okay," toad says, "but i'm going to have to

wait for the perfect time to present her

with a request of that nature."

 

the next time they find themselves

passing in adjoining lanes, she says,

"did you ask your wife for that note?"

 

and he replies, "she says she'll be only too

glad to write it, but she's wondering if it should

be more in the nature of a character reference

or of a permission to go on a field trip?"

 

a couple of weeks later, when she tells him that

(incredibly) she hasn't been getting asked out,

he suggests, "maybe there's just too much

paperwork involved,"

 

and when she's about to leave the next day

for a week in hawaii, partly to size up

how things stand with the old boyfriend,

 

toad says, "tell him there's a guy back here

who's practicing forging his

wife's signature."

 

 

 

 

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