LEARNING TO LIE

 

Albert Huffstickler

 

 

I didn't know then

that people weren't the way they looked

(though some were which made it more confusing)

and that everybody had an outside and an inside

and they seldom matched-

just like the way you acted in public

wasn't the way you acted at home.

I didn't know that the first step toward maturity

was to redefine lying and to understand

when a lie was not a lie

however much it diverged from the truth.

Later, when I had been punished for lying

both when I lied and when I told the truth,

I adapted: I became a sneak-

or adult as it's sometimes called.

Maturing is kind of like learning to wear clothes.

It's all right for a baby to be naked

and act the way it is

but we put on clothes as we put on lies

until finally everything is hidden, even love-

or saved for special occasions.

And ultimately we learn to simulate even love

through our clothes and our lies.

We are now ready to appear in public

and if the appearance belies the fact,

no one will condemn you

as long as you keep your clothes on,

keep up appearances,

and resign yourself to the fact that

to be accepted is to go unrecognized.

The outside must forsake the inside.

All of which is very confusing

and if it weren't for the infinite adaptability of children,

they would all be crazy instead of merely crazed.

Meanwhile, there are trees and stars

and other natural objects

that we come to distrust because

they have no nasty secrets: they're naked.

And our dreams become more vivid

as our lives become more drab

but you can't have everything

and what's worse, you can't be anything

because on some deep level,

you have lied your way out of existence.

Thus wars are born.

It's easier to kill knowing you don't exist

and it's easier to die

if death is the only way home.