Paul (Bob the Saurk) and Billy are off doing their own thing. Bruce (Goat Gulgusskun), Ernest (Liz Blessing), Chris (Caleb Kagan), Tim (Kraid Naiben) and Chuck all have nuthin' better ta do, so they all show up to boast of the stupid things they did in their misspent youths.
Prodded by his exposure to the semiconscious powerful psychic and an excess of experience points, Goat Gulgusskun gains Telepathy 1 and Telekinesis 1. It was the nightmares that inspired him.
The characters are planning on heading back to Gaulden to look for Goat Gulgusskun's cousin Morty. This is a problem because Lungsucker Vartanian is on Gaulden, and is in turn looking for most of the characters. And not because he wants to invite them all over for cucumber sandwiches and tea.
Everyone buys a blank ICPA passport from Nicki the Czar for Cr 500 then turns it over to Caleb Kagan for finishing. By the end of the process everyone has become an Earther except for Kraid Naiben the demlux (who becomes his neighbor) and Bob the Saurk (who becomes his attractive first cousin). Liz tells everyone, "Remember everyone, rule #1 for neophyte con men is 'Don't shoot yer fool mouths off!'"
The characters disguise their ship by "selling" it to a shell company and renaming it Prodigal Sun. This is all taken care of on New Saigon.
Liz Blessing leaves a long, mostly pornographic email to her girlfriend back on Aetna. Kraid Naiben looks over her shoulder and cautions, "You realize that she's just selling those on the Internet to 'put herself through college', don't you?"
After dispensing his daily dose of folk wisdom to Liz, Kraid heads out into the marketplaces of New Saigon with the intention of dumping Cr 26,000 buying a Harley-Daimler Hawg hoverbike. But first he blows Cr 200 on an enormous steak dinner. Liz thinks for a second and joins him. Kraid warns her, "Have you ever seen the way I eat steak? Bring a slicker." She tries to convince him that just stealing a bike is a much cheaper way to go than buying one. It is a testament to the effectiveness of Harley-Daimler's marketing efforts that he doesn't believe her. At least until he gets a few gallons of ethanol under his belt. It's the hexane compounds that finally did it.
The two of them wake up the next morning on the floor of the Salt Witch's cargo bay with tremendous hangovers. Next to them is a hoverbike with a "New Saigon Highway Patrol" insignia painted on it. They throw a tarp over it and resolve to not tell the other characters about it.
The characters enjoy an uneventful trip to New Melbourne. While everyone waits for word from the Gaulden lawyer Goat hired, Kraid buys several buckets of paint remover and gets very, very high trying to make his new hoverbike not look like an ex-police vehicle.
New Melbourne is a prosperous but ultimately boring place. Liz Blessing is tremendously eager to go out and party. Goat looks around at the place and concludes that it looks like Branson, MO in space. He suspects that Liz will be rather disappointed in her quest. In an effort to crack her otherwise impenetrable boredom, Liz looks up the local office of the Weekly Intergalactic News and sells them the story of Bug Infestation on Bedlam! She gets Cr 1500 from them. She poses to be their Page Three Girl, but they don't pay her. They claim that they're not going to use the shots, then put them up on their website. She tells the others, "At least now the crazy survivalists will be warned."
The characters finally hear from Goat's attorney. He reports that he hasn't been able to talk to Morty, but he does know where he is. Morty is being held in the ICPA Port Authority compound in central Drengulskava. The Marshals have set up a detention compound there. As far as the lawyer can tell, Morty is the only person detained as a "person of interest." Liz listens to this, and then tells Goat, "Dude, I hate to be the one to let you know, but your cousin is a terrorist." Goat tells her, "Dude, my cousin is totally hosed." Goat goes on to explain to the others that his cousin Morty has never had a rep as the sharpest tack in the family. His job at the spaceport pretty much consisted of cleaning out the ashtrays. If he actually is a terrorist, he's pretty clearly the lowest rung on the totem pole.
The characters conclude that if Morty got involved in something he would have done so accidentally, and is probably being held largely for his own good. Everyone agrees that Lungsucker is not involved, because he doesn't have much pull with the ICPA and the ICPA Marshals are a new organization.
After a fairly large discussion on what the characters should do an just how suicidal it would be for the characters to actually go to Gaulden, Goat comes up with a plan. He writes another large check for Cr 10,000 to the lawyer so he can watch Morty, and a check for Cr 10,000 to Morty's family. This pretty much bankrupts him, but he feels better.
Caleb Kagan tells the others, "If watching old 20th century cop taught me anything, it's that when guys with guns show up that means that you're on the right track. Nobody is showing up to shoot us, so we're clearly just putzing around."
The characters head to the University of New Melbourne to find an expert to look at their alien artifacts and their preserved bug. As usual, Liz Blessing gets to take the lead because she's the most presentable member of the group by far. Caleb Kagan spends one point to buy Etiquette (law enforcement) just so he has it, even if it won't help him one bit. The characters progressively embarrass themselves in frat houses, local bars, and the student union before they manage to locate Professor Liza Jenny. She has tenure, but is so eccentric that the department stuffed her into a small, cramped office near the heating ducts with X-Files posters all over the walls.
Liz asks Professor Jenny, "So, Perfesser. We're a spaceship crew, and we were told that you were the person to talk to about weird stuff. This here is Goat." Goat smiles and holds out a cloth-wrapped package, offering, "I made you a shawl!" Professor Jenny looks as though something distasteful has invaded her office. Liz is undeterred, continuing on, "I understand that you're a professor of Xenoanthropology..."
Professor Jenny clearly thinks that the characters are part of some kind of joke by the rest of the faculty, and not necessarily a good joke either. She leans back in her battered chair and surveys the group. "So, I've got a sorority girl, the eternal grad student, and a foreign exchange student getting stains all over my carpet. Dear God tell me that you people aren't for real."
Liz senses that things are not going well. She elbows Goat out of the way and tells the Professor, "I want to make clear we're not looking for money, but we found some alien artifacts and some disturbing information about a new alien race."
Professor Jenny is clearly not impressed. She gives an unenthusiastic wave and tells Liz, "Okay, show me the pot shards." Thud. Goat pulls out a jar with a dissected bug out and dumps it on the desk. Professor Jenny goggles. "What did you pull that out of?" "My bag. You want one? I made it." "No you idiot! Where'd you get the xenomorph?" Goat grins and says, "Caleb, run the film!" This is Caleb's and Liz's cue to start up the normal dog-and-pony show, then explain that their efforts to alert other more mainstream authorities have come to nothing.
By the end of the show, Professor Jenny has agreed to look at the characters' torpedo shell. They drive to the spaceport. Along the way, Goat starts to knit a bag for the Professor. Caleb tells Professor Jenny, "I think he was a spider in a past life. Maybe soon he'll start to cocoon his prey." Liz offers, "I gotta wonder what sort of horribly deprived childhood he had." Goat ignores them as he counts stitches.
Professor Jenny looks over all the items the characters have, including the torpedo shell, the torpedo jelly scrapings, the preserved alien bug, and the various MRI scans Goat took of the bug. Liz also mentions rather casually that there was a psychic on the planet who seemed to be immune to the bugs. She covers over the fact that he's no longer around by claiming that he died during the trip back after his harrowing experience on Bedlam.
Professor Jenny suggests that because the torpedo shell is clearly bioengineered, the bugs were probably also bioengineered. She's never seen anything that looks like this before, but suggests that flamethrowers and insecticides will probably work against them.
Caleb then asks the Professor if she knows any way to make money off these things. She points out that right now, these artifacts are only valuable as oddities. She also reminds the characters that under ICPA law all first contact must be handled through the ICPA. Of course, any informal initial interaction prior to ICPA-handled first contact could lead to a lot of money.
The characters give Professor Jenny all their evidence and tell her to publish, publish, publish! The hope is that she will come up with some papers that will start bringing Black Ops out of the woodworks. And then there will be gunfights.
The characters decide that because the alien bugs ignore psychics, it is possible that the aliens have already made contact with human psychic organizations ("They're our kind of people…"). And even if the local psychics are clueless, they may have some awareness of ICBM's kidnap-happy habits. Caleb convinces Goat that he should try to look up some psychic support groups to see if he can find any evidence of either alien or ICBM meddling. Goat agrees to this plan after Caleb agrees to buy him some new knitting patterns.
In the interests of safety and high-tech traceability, Goat swallows a mini-tracker bug.
It doesn't take the two of them long to locate an organization called Future of Humanity. Most of them are not psychic, but they hold the interesting belief that the future of the human race lies firmly in the hands of the psychics, that eventually every human will have psychic powers, and that until that day they must act as the guardians of the species. Goat goes to a lot of their meetings in an effort to set himself up as their local poster child. Liz is his "bodyguard" and hangs out near him all the time. She works her own Influence to pump him up as much as she can. Even though Goat has a very boring personality, Liz makes sure he seems very believable.
After several meetings have dragged on by, some of the local members approach Goat. One of them asks him, "You talk about all these terrible things that are happening, but how far are you willing to go?" Liz subtly prompts him, "As far as necessary... I'm no stranger to armed conflict..." Goat tells the activist, "Well, I'll do what I have to..." Liz groans. Goat gets invited to a special meeting next week, almost in spite of himself.
Kraid and Caleb attach a tracker bug to the alien torpedo shell. Then they sit back and wait. Caleb spends a lot of time sitting in cars an enjoying flashbacks to all his old stakeouts... "Hey, those coeds swim in the nude... Just like dolphins... Mmmm... dolphins..." He is jolted out of his reverie by an explosion up in the professor's office. He calls Kraid and heads to the office. Kraid revs up his hoverbike and roars towards the University, heedless of anything else.
Caleb is the first to arrive at the Professor's office, or what is left of it. He quickly deduces that someone set a bomb off to destroy evidence. He sees that the torpedo and the preserved bug are both destroyed, along with any papers.
As he pulls up to the University, Kraid sees a black SUV driving away at high speed. He spins around and moves to follow it. Surprisingly, he manages to follow without drawing any attention. He reports that the SUV is heading towards the spaceport, towards the private section of the port. He is able to count five guys in the SUV.
At long last, Caleb calls up Liz and Goat to tell them to wake up and head to the spaceport. Liz literally throws Goat into her truck and speeds off to the scene, planning as she drives. She decides that she will sideswipe their vehicle with hers and stop them short of the spaceport gate. She cautions Goat to avoid using guns until she hears that there are five guys in the vehicle, at which point she suggests to Goat that he should get his gauss carbine back out.
Trailing behind everyone else, Caleb runs to the edge of the University grounds to hail a cab. He tells the driver, "To the spaceport! Now! And this oddly-shaped violin case is just a violin case!"
Liz manages to ram the mysterious SUV square in the side. They stop. Someone gets out of the SUV and opens up on Kraid with an automatic weapon as he speeds in. Kraid takes it on the chin. And in the guts. And in the arm. And spends a Genre Point to ignore his wound penalties. Three more guys pour out of the vehicle.
Kraid drives right through them, barely missing the guy who shot him. He goes into battle rage and stabs the guy with his knife. The knife blunts on the black op's armor jacket. Kraid howls out, "He's wearing body armor, guys!"
Bullets scream through the characters' SUV. Goat and Liz duck. A shell ricochets off Liz's body armor. Goat pops up with his gauss carbine and perforates one of the attackers.
Caleb announces his arrival on the scene by throwing a flashbang into the attackers' van. He starts taking fire, but in an uninterested, random way that doesn't get through his armor. Goat ignores a bullet, then uses the last of his gauss carbine ammo to injure another attacker. He takes a pretty serious wound while diving to the back seat of the SUV to get his rifle.
Liz abandons the SUV and tasers the attacker fighting Kraid. The attacker is pretty tough, and basically ignores the pleasing electricity ticking his neurons in favor of the screaming monkey with the knife. Kraid takes another deep wound, but stays up.
Caleb sprays down an armored attacker with his gauss carbine. Another of the attackers comes around the side of the SUV to shoot Goat again. Goat avoids him just barely, then nails him one more time. Liz yells out, "Caleb! Take him down!" In return, Caleb takes a deep wound.
Meanwhile, Kraid's opponent finishes reloading. He slaps the clip home, brings up his rifle, and drills Kraid with far more hypervelocity bullets than was strictly necessary (Kraid takes 188 points of damage, but has an overkill rating of only 105). Liz shakes everyone else out of a moment of shocked reverie by yelling, "Let us all take a warning that this is what happens when you try to take on a team of heavily-armed mercenaries with a knife." One of the mercenaries responds, "We've all seen Zulu Dawn! Budda-budda-budda!"
Liz pulls out a neuro-shock grenade and rolls it underneath the van. One of the two surviving attackers on the other side is stunned. Caleb shoots the other one but doesn't hurt him. Goat avoids getting shot, then rather desperately shoots back, killing his attacker. He gasps for breath and offers Liz and her Command Points a quick moment of thanks.
Liz continues to cower down next to the SUV and generate piles and piles of command points. Caleb hurls a tear gas grenade. The blinded attacker sucks in a lungful of gas and proceeds to stagger across the battlefield making screaming and retching sounds. The survivor leaps into the van. Goat fires randomly in his direction.
The surviving attacker starts to pull away. Liz yells out, "Open up on him!" Caleb and Goat blaze away, hitting nothing at all. On the way out the escaping mercenary drives over both Kraid's hoverbike and his body. Just to add insult to injury. Liz slams the remains of the SUV into drive and heads after his ass.
Liz slews over and smashes her SUV into the escaping mercenary's vehicle. The vehicle's engine sputters, then dies. The mercenary tries to escape on foot, but Liz crashes her SUV broadside into the mercenary's van, pinning his leg between the door and the seat. Goat gives up trying to unjam his rifle, grabs his shotgun and runs over to the disabled van. He wrenches the door open and howls, "Drop your gun!" The guy surrenders.
Liz looks through the Black Ops vehicle and finds nothing of special interest. While she searches, Goat preps up Caleb and Kraid's body to move. Everything gets shuttled back to the Salt Witch where Goat does his freaky psychic healing routine.
The two captured black ops are well-equipped with commo sets, NVG's, vibroknifes, 25 AR armor, and so on. The characters methodically strip them down to their skins. Unsatisfied with a simple strip search, Caleb also uses Info Warfare to check for tracer devices on the prisoners or their equipment. He concludes that they are clean, but runs them through a chlorine bleach rubdown just in case.
Goat's attempt to psychically read one guy goes nowhere, but Caleb is able to do mundane interrogation. He finds out that they are the Black Mako guys. They tracked the characters down by following their very distinctive SUV: the fluorescent running lights and glow-in-the-dark paint made it stand out a bit. They work for ICBM. Caleb asks a bunch of questions:
Each character gains four experience points. Goat spends 5 experience to get a specialization to Medicine for gunshot wounds.