Paul (Bob the Saurk) shows up and immediately commences relating how watching old Saturday Night Live clips made him want to drink beer. Chuck suggests that he shouldn't believe people who tell him that Imported Elbonian beer isn't necessarily good just because it's "imported". Ernest (Liz Blessing) indicates that he taught himself to drink beer and coffee as part of his ongoing project to become more extroverted so random people will walk up to him and explain how their lives blow because they don't have custody of their sons. Chuck once again points out that he doesn't need friends, because he has his beer. Chris (Caleb Kagan) suggests that social drinking is best done not with grain alcohol or cheap English gin, and that people often look at you askance when you refuse to drink beer at common social gatherings. Everyone just looks askance at Bruce (Goat Gulgusskun). Tim (GE Smith) and Billy (Mister Yong) miss the entire conversation because they're off separately trying to make up good excuses for being late.
Chuck indicates that he's noticed a number of exciting variant spellings for the two new alien races that are flocking around on the outskirts of human space. For the record, the races are the BreeKhanAr and the Anzani. The BreeKhanAr are the raptor-like aliens who are in bed with ICBM. They think that ICBM is the human government, and that the telepaths ICBM is giving them are volunteers. The Anzani are the psychic aliens who have (as of the last NewsNet) joined up with the ICPA hardliners at Alpha Centauri.
Billy's new character is Mister Yong. He's Asian. He has telekinetic powers. And he was found on the characters' shiny new Black Mako-class custom infiltrator. And he is addicted to having his freaky psychic brain juice regularly shunted off through a catheter. Which would be very disturbing to the other characters if only they knew. He's having some issues with remembering his past, or whether or not he has any marketable skills.
Strapped down right next to Mister Yong is a mysterious demlux. Unlike Mister Yong, he is totally unconscious. And he's addicted to psychic brain-juice, not that the characters know that yet. Though they do quickly figure out that he doesn't know his own name. And his problems knowing who he is and what he can do make Mister Yong's troubles look trivial. He even has trouble persuading the other characters that he will be more of a virtue than a hazard, should they keep him around. The final winning bit of evidence that prevents him from becoming fertilizer for the hydroponics room is the discovery that he is Tim's new character.
From the last session, Liz Blessing and Caleb Kagan have come back to the Blue Lady with a strongbox containing Cr 994,442 of Lungsucker Vartanian's ill-gotten wealth. They divide the money up six ways, with shares of Cr 165,740 going to Liz, Caleb, Goat Gulgusskun, Bob the Saurk, Mister Yong and the ship.
Goat asks if he will have a chance to spend some of this money before the characters leave Gaulden. Liz points out that the local area is filled with angry goons, all eager to win Lungsucker's favor by killing the characters. Goat decides that he'd prefer to not go shopping.
The characters head to New Melbourne. Their schedule is fairly tight because they want to arrive in Bedlam in time to crash ICBM's rendezvous with the BreeKhanAr. They have only a week of spare time available for shopping and hooliganism.
No sooner has the Blue Lady broken orbit than the nameless demlux pads into the crew lounge and mentions, "Hey guys, I'm totally naked. I need some stuff." Caleb Kagan offers, "That's nice. Tell us about yourself. What were you doing on this ship? Are you psychic?" The demlux explains, "No, but they tried to make me psychic. They were particularly interested in injecting psychic brain juice into our spines. By the by, do you happen to have any spare psychic brain juice?" Caleb ignores this request, filing it under "Things I'm Gonna Ignore For Now." He continues to question the demlux, who is busily displaying a shocking lack of sensitivity towards his lack of clothing. Caleb asks him, "So, what's your name?" "I don't know." Caleb offers, "That's a common problem. We're gonna call you GE4, 'cause that's what's on your paperwork. You'll be able to remember that, because it's also tattooed on your ass. Actually, let's make that GE Smith." The newly named GE Smith suggests, "Maybe you could call me Remo Williams?" Goat looks up from his cooking and tells him, "I don't like that idea. I'm going to call you GE. And I'll make you a nice sweater."
Once all of the characters have assembled in the lounge for a repast dominated by Goat's secret Mushroom-and-Gloop Stew, Caleb hammers on the table for attention. He looks around at the others and says, "So, let's go on with what we're trying to do. We're going to visit with some lizard-raptor aliens who have been dealing under the table with ICBM." GE Smith raises one hand and asks, "Have your dealings with these guys involved any incredibly scary guys in lab coats?" Caleb replies, "Yes, but they've always already been dead when we've found them." GE Smith becomes very enthusiastic, telling the others, "Okay, I'm in!" Liz Blessing is not convinced by GE's native charm and rather pointedly asks, "First, are you a cop? Or a pirate?" GE Smith admits, "I really don't know. Maybe I'm a lawyer." Liz and Caleb yell (in unison), "Space him!" GE dodges.
Goat Gulgusskun is rather surprised to find that his Cousin Morty is still with the characters. This makes seven people on the ship, and only four staterooms. Bob the Saurk admits that he likes to curl up around the warp core anyway. It keeps him nice and warm at night. Caleb tells the others (sotto voce), "And sterile." It is decided that Bob the Saurk will sleep in Engineering. The Amnesia Twins, Mister Yong and GE Smith, will share one room. Goat Gulgusskun and Cousin Morty share a second room. And Liz Blessing and Caleb Kagan both get their own rooms. Liz Blessing takes the stateroom closest to the bridge.
Liz does all manner of freaky maneuvering on the trip to New Melbourne because she's got a new black ops infiltrator ship to play with. During the trip, Bob the Saurk tears out all the seats in the Engineering section and replaces them with huge, comfy mouldering "alien-friendly" chairs. It develops that since Kraid Naiben's untimely death Bob is also one of the most-skilled gunner still surviving, so he gets assigned the job of gunner for the big forward-firing Mark III XPG-Smart Gauss gun. GE Smith demonstrates some familiarity with ship gunnery, so he is assigned to the turret-mounted XPG Gauss gun. Goat Gulgusskun ends up as gunner for the ordinary PDF turret.
The characters spread out through the city to buy things. Everyone buys a variety of personal equipment, particularly GE Smith and Mister Yong, who really have nothing but underwear to their names. Liz Blessing buys a new copy of Microsoft Encarta 2044, a variety of new video games, and the AP upgrade for the PDS gun (the only one that can be upgraded with just software). The AP upgrade costs Cr 5000, the video games cost another Cr 2000, and the Microsoft software costs Cr 100 (as usual). Goat Gulgusskun spends Cr 2000 buying a big professional-grade computer-controlled sewing machine. Caleb buys Cr 1000 worth of assorted cloth to go along with it. The idea is to be able to produce good-quality copies of uniforms on demand. And after he has finished loading his big sewing machine on board, Goat Gulgusskun heads out and to make a connection for Liz. He returns with all sorts of exciting controlled substances.
GE Smith ends up burning through about Cr 10,000 in "walking around" money. Caleb growls, "You better be worth it, lawyer." GE tells Caleb, "I don't think I'm a lawyer anymore. Maybe I was an umbrella salesman."
At the characters' last dinner before leaving New Melbourne, Liz decides to discuss aliens. She tells the others, "From what we know about the BreeKhanAr, they're basically stand-up guys, except that ICBM has been lying to them. It is definitely possible to do business with them: ICBM has been trading advanced technology for psychics for a few years at least. What will our approach to dealing with them be? Do we blow things all open and just hand over a copy of Microsoft Encarta? Things get complicated because the ICPA government is openly dealing with the Anzani, who are at war with the BreeKhanAr."
From what Caleb can pull out of the Blue Lady's databanks, the ICBM guys have represented themselves as a powerful merchant house in human space. The characters decide to just tell the BreeKhanAr what they knew when they hit the Black Ops team. They also decide that their basic goal is to screw ICBM.
The Blue Lady drops out of jump four days before the scheduled meeting day. The meeting is supposed to be on Bedlam proper, at the site of the former mining colony. Even at the edge of the system, the characters notice the new ICPA system beacon warning that the Bedlam colony is horribly irradiated. The ship glides insystem as Caleb Kagan works the passive sensors looking for other ships in the system. He doesn't see anything powered up, and doesn't see any other sensor signatures.
Liz Blessing points out that the characters are bound insystem in an ICBM modified Black Mako ship, and the local ICBM guys have no reason to believe that the characters have taken out a Black Ops team. She disguises herself to make herself look as much like one of the female Black Op team members. The characters work up an informal plan to try and make it look like they are supposed to be there.
The Blue Lady reaches high orbit around Bedlam and Caleb lights up the active sensors to get a really thorough look around. He detects a lot of radiation from the former mine location; it looks like someone nuked the area. He can see some activity several kilometers from the former mining station. He also picks up a ship powered down on the moon on the side facing the planet. The ship looks to be about the size of the Salt Witch.
When the Blue Lady turns up sensors, someone on the ground notices. A human with the characteristic cast of an ICBM goon comes up on the communicator asking, "Where have you guys been? And why are you late? By the way, that cargo you're carrying? Space it. Plans have changed, we'll fill you in when you're on the ground."
A plan swiftly develops. The characters will fly casual to take themselves near the grounded ship on the moon then blow it to shrapnel. After that, there will be some cleanup of the ICBM crew on the ground.
The early part of the plan works fine. Liz brings the Blue Lady into a close orbit of the moon. The instant the ship gets into extreme weapons range, the characters open up on the grounded ship. Bob the Saurk, seated at the controls of the big Mark III XPG Smart Gauss Gun, fires one long burst that perforates the main reactor coils and destroys the target instantly. The powered-down ship turns into a mushroom cloud. The characters have no need to jam any alert message because they luckless ICBM crew don't get a chance to send one. Caleb suspects that any particularly observant ICBM people on Bedlam wouldn't need a radio message from the ship, as the explosion was bright enough to be (barely) visible from planetside.
Their bloody mission accomplished, the Blue Lady resumes her previous course as if nothing at all unusual happened.
It soon turns out that someone on Bedlam was paying attention. A radio message comes in from the ICBM ground station asking what just happened. Liz responds, "Aaaahh... looks like they're having some engine problems, looks like they just had to vent a lot of... aaahh... plasma or something. They say they can handle it."
The other characters just hold their breaths as they listen to Liz trying to sound like she knows something about ship engineering. The questioner on the ground is clearly not satisfied, asking, "Why'd you guys change course?" Once again, Liz rises to the challenge, "Uhhh... We were just doing a flyby; us pilots like to do that sort of thing. You know, like in that movie Top Spaceship, or something." Liz' respect for the ICBM commo officer drops a few notches as the guy buys her story. He asks them to land.
Hoping to help the situation, Caleb quickly writes, "Reactor leak caused a fatal explosion" on a notepad and shows it to Liz. She tells the groundside operator, "Yeah, ahhh... looks like that reactor leak just caused a fatal explosion." "I thought you said they were just venting plasma!" "Yeah, ahhh... maybe they didn't vent properly..." The characters sense that the commo operator on the ground suddenly doesn't believe anything Liz is telling him.
Liz comments, "Normally, I don't believe anything Caleb tells me. Looks like I should have kept with that notion." Caleb sulks. Goat meditates. GE Smith starts chanting, "Gotta getta gun... gotta getta gun... gotta getta gun..."
Liz brings the Blue Lady in from orbit. On the way down, Caleb takes a look at the ICBM camp. It is set in the end of a box canyon, near a strange set of earthworks. The camp is little more than a series of prefab buildings, one satellite dish and a marked landing area. After a bit of discussion, Liz gets on the comlink and announces, "You have been taken over by Rojo Beluga! Arrgh! Prepare to be boarded!" Seconds afterward, Bob the Saurk blasts the satellite dish into fragments. And then the assault team touches down. As they rush onto the ground, Liz gets on the public comm channel and tells them all, "Don't fuck up!"
GE Smith is first on the ground with his light machine gun. He immediately takes fire from several guards who are clearly not interested in surrendering. He blasts them into pieces. Bob the Saurk ups the ante by firing the XPG Gauss gun through one of the Quonset huts, reducing it to interesting pieces of modern art. In the confusion, Caleb Kagan, Mister Yong and Goat Gulgusskun deploy onto the ground.
Things become more interesting when the characters realize that one of the goons near the earthworks is carrying a 9mm chain gun. He fires on GE Smith with a lot of noise but not a lot of actual effect.
With the assault team on the ground, Liz pulls the Blue Lady into the air and Bob the Saurk commences blazing away at the defending soldiers. Several soldiers that getting hit by even a paltry starship-scale weapon can be a life-ending experience.
Mister Yong takes a hit, then promptly gets juiced with painkillers by Goat, who is pleased to be carrying a well-stocked medical kit. Mister Yong attempts to use his telekinetic powers, but is clearly disoriented by the drugs and fails to grab an appropriate rock.
It quickly becomes obvious that the ground team is thoroughly pinned down. GE Smith takes the lion's share of the gunfire, though Caleb takes enough to pick up a wound. And a couple of seconds later, a heavy dose of painkillers from Goat. Caleb tosses a gas grenade to create some cover. Everyone except GE Smith heads for cover. GE Smith finds himself covered by smoke. Unable to see any actual targets, he whispers, "Be the machinegun" and fires unskilled through the smoke. He takes down two guys.
While GE Smith eviscerates defenders, Bob the Saurk continues to use the Blue Lady's XPG Gauss gun to shatter buildings and their occupants. Almost as a side detail, he takes out the remains of the commo tower as well. High on painkillers and determined to show Bob the Saurk that shipboard weapons aren't the only way to fly, Mister Yong telekinetically crushes a building just to rob a trooper of cover.
The final defender tries to take cover next to a building. Bob the Saurk ends both the man and the building with a shattering burst of gauss gunfire.
Silence ensues. Goat takes a moment to patch up Caleb's wounds and psychically heal him.
The characters move up to sweep the buildings. Liz lands the Blue Lady so Bob has a direct LOS to the cave with the forward-mounted XPG Gauss cannon, "just in case."
On the way into the camp, Caleb hands a bandolier of flash and tear gas grenades to Mister Yong. He tells Liz, "I loved that advice! 'Don't Fuck Up!' That sounded just like my father!" While everyone else inspects the camp, Goat heals and flex-cuffs the one surviving prisoner. Loot from the defenders includes:
Most of the defenders were killed by overkill results from the Blue Lady's PDS gun, so their armor is not recoverable.
The characters very cautiously investigate the cave and find that it is just an extension of the rest of the compound. There is nobody left alive in there. The characters are a bit confused by the fact that the entire camp was occupied by a bunch of guys with guns and nobody else. Caleb brings in the radio and sensor logs for Liz to examine. She determines that they ICBM guys were really not keeping detailed logs, and that there hasn't been much of interest going on anyway.
Caleb leads off on the interrogation attempt. He screams at the prisoner, "Look at all my nice watches! Tell us what we want to know!" The prisoner is baffled by Caleb's approach, and explains, "You knuckleheads are all gonna die when our ship arrives and kills your asses." Liz breaks in, "We've already blown your ship into radioactive gas. Listen guy, we have another of your people in the other room. You don't tell us what we want, we're gonna kill ya." She turns to Caleb, whom the prisoner is totally convinced is totally insane, and tells him, "That's okay, Mr. Beluga. I'll take over from here." Caleb leaves the room, saying, "I'm gonna go sleep with the corpses." Liz proceeds to drag all the information she can out of the prisoner.
It develops that the ICBM guys were expecting to have to signal the incoming BreeKhanAr ship to tell it to land at the canyon rather than the (now-radioactive) mine site. Caleb is able to salvage some nice field-hardened radio equipment and to learn the frequencies for contacting the BreeKhanAr.
The characters conclude that there are probably small numbers of bugs still in the area. After GE Smith learns this, he refuses to leave the ship.
Goat notices that the bodies are all wearing some kind of hearing-aid like device. He figures out that they are translators, probably for the BreeKhanAr language. There are enough surviving examples for each of the characters to have one.
While the other characters talk to the prisoner, Mister Yong uses telekinesis to clear the rubble.
At the end of the session, the characters are encamped on the surface of Bedlam, waiting for the BreeKhanAr to show up. Each character gains five experience points and not a single Genre Point. Bob the Saurk grumbles, "But I'm supposed to get Genre Points for heroic actions! Didn't you all see how heroically I smashed all those buildings? It isn't just anyone who can use starship weapons to crush prefab huts, ya know."