Ernest reports that he's been having a rough week, and decided to drink everything alcoholic in his house. Chris (Scarecrow) asks, "Did you manage to pass out before you got down to the lighter fluid and the Drano?" Chuck (Archangel) reacts by shooting everything. Bruce (Sting Ray) just thinks about food. Mmm... fooooood. Paul (Darren Stone) neatly sidesteps the whole debate by sleeping in, then showing up only when some gaming was at risk of happening. Tim (Sylvan Sentinel) shows better sense than anyone else by missing the game and attending a family reunion for the first time in years. It's up at Uncle Slayton's cuz he's getting' on in years. No longer travels but he's still pretty spry. He's not much on talk and he's too mean to die.
The session opens with the characters watching a gang of bikers thunder away from the Radley Manor. The lead biker is Ox, a big guy on a big chopper. He wears an old Imperial German helmet to make it easier for cops to finger him. Skeeter follows right behind him, with Wrench on the right flank. Wrench is wearing biker leathers with chainmail reinforcement and looks so much like Lance Hendricksen that he gets cease-and-desist letters from lawyers. The three of them, backed up by eight nameless goons, go roaring down the manor driveway. Sylvan Sentinel tries to intercept Wrench, but falls afoul of the big guy's cold iron wrench. Sylvan Sentinel goes down smelling cheap perfume and beer. His last lucid thought is, "Cheap perfume? Why do bikers wear cheap perfume?" He completely fails to notice Ox's lacy underwear.
Things get more complicated when the characters see Skeeter grab the boy hostage Kennhie and fling him up onto the back seat of his bike.
Scarecrow watches the bikers vanishing down the road, then at the fifteen or so unused motorcycles still in the garage. He asks the others, "So, any of you know how to ride a motorcycle?" Sting Ray responds, "Hell no! Let's ride!" The characters mount up and drive off as Radley Manor crackles merrily behind them. Except for Archangel, who mocks the others because he can fly as fast as a motorcycle drives.
Sting Ray throttles his throttle, clutches his clutch, and speeds off in pursuit. He nearly wipes out on an invisible turtle, and makes no progress towards closing the gap. Archangel decides to show him how it's done and spirals through some bushes instead. He starts to fall back behind the others. Skeeter screeches out, "Woo! Wolfpack! Woo! Wolfpack!" in a strangely feminine voice. His cries cut off with a choking sound as lightning arcs over the biker next to him. Sparks fly as Sting Ray zaps the guy.
Scarecrow accelerates to top speed and closes to within spitting distance of the trailing bikers. The bikers notice and start shooting at him. He complains, "Why don't you people just spit instead?" One of them manages to shoot a crow off his shoulder. Skeeter notices Scarecrow's approach and responds by accelerating to top speed and squealing, "To Mexico!" Kennhie chimes in, "Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!" Scarecrow takes a brief Mental Health Moment to hold his head in his hands and twitch. Ox yells, "Once we get outta here, split up!"
Archangel finally manages to accelerate up to high speed. He tears through the sky, howling, "This is like the time I was on a schedule to turn two entire cities into salt!"
Scarecrow pulls up right next to the biker pack and lands an Obscuration blackout on them. Ox slides to the left. One of his mooks slips right, plowing right through one of his erstwhile comrades. His comrade fishtails a bit but regains balance, but the original mook is not so lucky: he spirals into a tree and explodes, Hollywood-style. Scarecrow notices that all this fishtail action is happening directly in front of him. He howls out, "Hey! The one in front of me is about to fall! That's good!" Sting Ray comments, "But he's right in front of you. I don't think that's actually good." Scarecrow replies, "I put on a costume and fight crime. My sense of reality is already pretty fucked up."
A few feet behind, Darren Stone and Sting Ray are horrified to find themselves driving straight into a huge pool of darkness at 100 kph. Darren Stone slews to one side and evades the darkness. He desperately tries to get a good shot at Skeeter, but loses him when the biker turns behind the Starmount Estates sign. Sting Ray just spends his time desperately trying to keep control of his bike.
Things get more interesting when Wrench pulls out a huge FN-FAL rifle and blazes away at Scarecrow, who takes no damage. Scarecrow mocks back, "Are you using Canadian ammo?" Then he pulls up right next to Wrench and leaps over onto Wrench's bike, fastening himself on with clinging. He growls, "Welcome to the corn field, boy!" Wrench squeals, "Squee!" Scarecrow unleashes a deadly flock of crows against the motorcycle, ignoring several attempts by Wrench's wingman to hit Scarecrow in the head with a pipe. Scarecrow exults, "As long as I'm in the cornfield, nobody can stop me!" Then Wrench grabs Scarecrow by the throat. Scarecrow resist with his astounding throat muscles and orders a cloud of murderous crows to go for eyes. Wrench responds by squeezing harder, doing his level best to crush the life out of Scarecrow. Running out of options, Scarecrow turns out the lights. Wrench uses the Force and barely even notices the darkness. Scarecrow barely notices (or cares) that Wrench's mook wingman makes it through as well.
Archangel flies off after Skeeter, who pulls out a submachine gun and commences spraying him down with AP ammo. Archangel feels only a mild ache where the bullets hit him. For some reason Skeeter yells out, "Hahahahaha! Wolfpack!" Everyone agrees that Skeeter is both annoying and vicious in a somewhat cowardly way. Skeeter empties his magazine at Archangel. Archangel mocks him, "I have a +1 Liar's Bonus on my AC!" Scarecrow cautions, "You realize that only works if you don't tell people you have a Liar's Bonus?" Archangel ignores him as he swoops down, grabs Kennhie, and wrenches him away from Skeeter.
Skeeter squeals, "Nobody takes a hostage away from Skeeter!" He tries to ventilate Archangel, but instead only barely manages to maintain control of his bike. Sting Ray, who had spent several uneventful rounds blazing away ineffectually at various mooks, is moderately horrified when his chosen target decelerates and hits his motorcycle's front wheel. Sting Ray slips to the right. He watches as Ox drives towards the Highway 6 access road. And then he hits a stretch of construction. Sting Ray finds himself heading for a nice new concrete pillar. Scarecrow yells out to Darren Stone, "Quick! Use your stone powers to make a soft cushion for him… Oh, never mind." Sting Ray wrenches the handlebars to the right and avoids the pillar by about eight inches. He wishes that he hadn't picked the motorcycle that was held together with duct tape. He also wishes that he had dumped some of the fireworks taped around the gas tank.
Scarecrow, who still has Wrench's throttlin' hand around his throat, is noticing that things are getting a lot dimmer and blacker. He also notices that the two cycles are closing rather fast on a station wagon driven by an older Asian family. He decides to destroy the nearby mook's motorcycle. Instead, he just rips up pavement with a blast of crows. Then he says, "Glarck!" as he takes another hit. He finally manages to get a hit on the mook's cycle. This makes the Asian family very upset. The father proceeds to take his hands off the wheel so he can make warding gestures against evil. The station wagon slews left, straight into Wrench's cycle. Wrench drops Scarecrow, who proceeds to get his head caught between the cycle and the car. Scarecrow sees stars, galaxies, and malicious cherubs attacking him with chainsaws. He manages to clamber up to the top of the station wagon and fasten himself there before he loses consciousness. His cry for help over the commo spike is pathetically girlish.
Archangel watches as a police car pull up behind Skeeter. Skeeter reacts poorly to this development: he sends several bullets towards the cops. Archangel swoops down, wrenches open the police car's rear door, tosses Kennhie inside and tells the cops, "I'll take care of the criminals!" The cops seem very, very surprised.
Skeeter takes another quick turn and pulls up behind Ox. Moments later, Wrench and the one surviving mook drive up behind them. Only Archangel is still in close pursuit. He spots Scarecrow, still collapsed on top of the Asian family's hood. In the depths of his subconscious, he can hear nonstop screaming in Thai.
Archangel swoops low and grabs the unconscious Scarecrow, who is not even strong enough to protest that he's being ruptured, then speeds off to find some bikers. Along the way, Archangel proclaims, "Be healed, Scarecrow! Make that DC20 CON check! With +7 from me!" Scarecrow comes around. Scarecrow finds himself being carried by an angel at 60 mph. He thinks, "This isn't exactly what I thought death would be like, but what the hey."
Sting Ray and Darren Stone hear Archangel's report that the bikers are linking up on Kimona Street. Sting Ray heads in that direction at a very cautious speed. Darren Stone speeds on past him.
The characters notice that there is now a patrol car in hot pursuit of the bikers. Wrench looks over at the biker next to him and growls, "Take care of them cops for me." He pulls the other biker's cycle over. The luckless biker spills hard, right into the path of the oncoming police car. The patrol car goes into a spin. Darren Stone sees the oncoming disaster and slows the police car with a snare.
Still suspended beneath Archangel by his shoulder blades, Scarecrow opens fire upon Wrench's cycle. He manages to put a crow in the spokes, which he thinks is really a good outcome. He reconsiders when Wrench pulls out a frag grenade and throws it at Archangel. The big biker yells, "Catch!" Archangel blocks the blast with Scarecrow, then pulls up out of convenient grenade-throwing range.
Far ahead of the characters, Ox and Skeeter pull into the parking lot of an isolated building on the side of Kimona Street. Wrench, still under ineffectual fire from Scarecrow, slows down and pulls in behind them. He takes another hit from Darren Stone as he parks his bike. So far, he's taken four hits and is looking pretty bloody.
By this time, Archangel and Scarecrow are close enough to see that the building is the Iron Horse, an infamous biker bar. Ox leaps off his hog and runs inside. Skeeter dismounts, evades Scarecrow's attack, then sprays the heroes with submachine gun fire.
Archangel stops on a dime, kicking over the bikes parked in front of the building in the process. Apparently, he doesn't like bikers much at the moment. He likes them even less when Ox pulls out a hypodermic and injects himself with something nasty-looking. Whatever it is, it has tremendous effects: Ox goes ripping banana nutzo. And then out of the biker bar steps a big, freaky individual. He's a big, muscled guy in a gimp mask, except that his skin is undulating in serpentlike patterns. He is Spasm.
Sting Ray finally arrives on the scene, still only barely in control of his bike. He decides to make a big entrance by driving into Spasm. Spasm dives out of the way as Sting Ray goes right into the front of the biker bar. Sting Ray finds himself lying stunned on the floor of the Iron Horse.
Ox moves in armed with his biker cestus and punches Sting Ray. Then picks him up and knocks him through the air into the mirror behind the bar. Sting Ray lies there unconscious. Scarecrow very hopefully calls out, "Sting Ray? Are you still awake? How many fingers are you holding up?" There is no response.
Archangel flies in towards the last location where he thought Sting Ray was. He flies into the wall of the bar. He takes a hit. Then he leaps past Ox and over the bar to find Sting Ray's unmoving form. He reaches out with his healing powers in time to bring Sting Ray back. Then Ox pounds him. And Archangel falls unconscious on top of Sting Ray. Sting Ray notices that he's next in line for a bloody rodgering, so he calls up the Mesmerizing Sigil of Kulkulmectul and orders Ox to "Stop!" Ox freezes.
Scarecrow drops to the ground, then covers himself with a protective field of darkness. Skeeter fills Archangel full of lead. Archangel takes a hit. And Darren Stone finally manages to down the blinded Wrench.
Then Spasm attacks Darren Stone. He burbles, "Time to lay on the hurt!" His arm ripples, tears and drips goo, then lashes out an impossible distance. Darren ends up stunned. And hurt. So very, very hurt. Archangel decides to try and dazzle Spasm.
Scarecrow attempts to hit Spasm in darkness from behind, but the villain's various muscles and organs avoid the blow in a slickly disgusting manner. Then Spasm's exposed nerves reach out and grab hold of Scarecrow, giving him a dramatic shock. All of Scarecrow's powers shut down.
Darren Stone rises to kneeling, heroically refreshes his rocky covering with gravel from the parking lot, and fails to hit Spasm.
Skeeter takes one look at the developing action, then steals a moped and heads outta Dodge. Behind him, Spasm does more neurological tricks to Scarecrow, fatiguing him while laughing diabolically. Scarecrow mocks him, "Laugh now. In fifty years, you'll be dead."
Spasm responds by sucking Scarecrow down to exhausted while simultaneously smashing Darren Stone's elemental into rubble. Darren Stone responds by summoning up another elemental. Unbelievably, the elemental manages to score a hit on Spasm. Spasm gets angry. Spasm turns and drags Scarecrow towards Darren Stone. Then he grabs Darren and headbutts him. Darren takes a hit. Darren runs, taking a stunning hit from Spasm in the process. Then Spasm exudes his fleshy fleshy balrog whip, grabs Darren by the head and knocks him into the pavement. Darren Stone goes out.
Back inside the bar, Sting Ray realizes that he is stuck. He can keep Ox immobile as long as he can keep his gaze, but that's about it. He reaches for the nearby payphone and calls 911. He tells the operator, "Hi, this is the Sting Ray. I have a supervillain apprehended, and I'd really appreciate it if you could send out a paddy wagon for him. Oh, and we've got a few more supervillains still in circulation so it'd be really good if you could send some additional guys out too. Thanks a bunch!" Oddly enough, the dispatcher believes him. She asks, "Where are you, sir?" Sting Ray explains, "I'm in the Iron Horse biker bar." The dispatcher seems to think this is even worse than Sting Ray does. She exclaims, "Oh Jeezus. I'll send the SWAT team." Archangel drearily reflects, "We're gonna be the laughingstocks of the superhero scene."
Sting Ray notices that Ox is looking a bit stressed by the drugs. He orders him, "Ox! Run in place!" Ox starts to sweat. Ox starts to look very much more stressed. Sting Ray orders Ox to run out of the front of the building.
Out in front of the Iron Horse Scarecrow is the only hero left to fight against Spasm, and he isn't fighting very hard. Then Spasm unzips his mouthpiece. Something extraordinary horrible springs forth, forcing Scarecrow to make a Will save against a Startle attack. He ends up flat-footed, and plagued with nightmares. Then Spasm slugs him into unconsciousness.
Spasm notices Ox jog past him. He orders the biker, "Let's ride!" They head off.
Sting Ray staggers out of the Iron Horse, dragging Archangel behind him. He looks around at the devastation, then calls up the Sky-Cloud Chariot of Kulkulmectul to evacuate everyone.
Back at Lewis Ray's condominium the characters discuss their recent encounter in between ice packs. Archangel asks Scarecrow, "So, he made you tired?" Scarecrow reflects, "First I was tired, and had a loss of appetite. Then he drained my powers. Then he scared me, I wet myself and I had nightmares. Can you take away my nightmares?" Archangel moans and motions to Sting Ray for another ice pack. And some gin.
The session ends with the characters all pounded into a slushy paste. Everyone gains four points of experience; this award includes two points from last time. Ernest promises that the next session will be a non-plot-related one-shot. Sting Ray invests two experience points in the Super-Flight power stunt and two more in +2 Flight power. He boasts that now the Sky-Cloud Chariot will be able to keep up with a car. Darren Stone says nothing as he rummages through Sting Ray's medicine cabinet for another bottle of Ben-Gay.