Chris (Tonk Sangaree), Chuck (Marcus Sangaree), Tim (Anpago Yost) and Bruce (Longfellow Yost) wake early in the morning to go see Blade: Trinity. They return to report that Parker Posey's hairdo and the Young Vampire Killers were very entertaining. Paul and Billy (Andrinor) just grumble because they got left out in the driveway. Tim tells Billy, "There was a Pomeranian!" Billy snorts, "I didn't want to know about dogs! Only monkeys!"
The characters start out camped in the attic of Atseyet's Incredible Ethereal Palace, debating over their next course of action. The crux of the matter is whether they should clear out the rest of the place, or go back to Highthrone and see what kind of a shambles Lord Rosh has made of the place.
Tonk Sangaree reflects, "Normally I'd say yes to looting, but I know there isn't much left of this game so I'd rather go somewhere where there can be murder and mayhem."
Andrinor concurs, "Yeah. I have a feeling that punk magician Partos Kincara couldn't do anything useful against Rosh. You know, that punk who just happened to have Force Cube memorized as one of his standard spells. His shop must be in a really tough neighborhood. I can just see him telling some shoplifters, 'You're in the penalty box!' and Force Cubing their miserable hooligan asses."
Anpago Yost comments, "You realize some of us have wives, and we've blown all our money on magical items. I need to come back with some loot, guys! Marie expects me to maintain her in the style to which she has become accustomed, and that includes all sorts of material goodies."
Longfellow Yost reassures his materialistic pixie cousin, "Don't sweat it, we've already got a lot of loot. And I've got a Feathers spell available right now! Let's fly!"
Calmer heads prevail, especially after Andrinor admits that he has almost no spells left. The characters decide to camp out for a night to regain their spells.
The characters sit around an impromptu campfire and examine the goodies they have recently pulled from the still-steaming carcasses of the creatures they have slain. The loot includes:
The characters set up guard rotations, then assign Long-Claws-Tree-Breaker to sleep in front of one door and the snake Eyes-That-Paralyze in front of the other.
Anpago comments, "But if the bear sleeps in front of one door, and the snake sleeps in front of the other, then where do we sleep?"
Tonk replies, "Stop whining. I'm sleeping on this part of the bear."
The evening goes uneventfully.
Morning arrives. The characters wake to hear Longfellow call out, "Haha! Everyone is a bird! Where are we going?" The others see that this is true and decide that Longfellow is getting far too enthusiastic about his ability to cast Feathers all the time.
After a bit of discussion, the characters decide to follow the course of the Highthrone skyships to the city of Serene. It isn't long before they see the wreckage of a ship on the ground below. Andrinor flies down to look for survivors. He finds none, but he does find a table and chairs, undamaged, sitting next to the wreck. There is a large gem on the table.
Andrinor buzzes back up to the group, twittering out, "Guys, we have a problem down here! It looks like a trap!"
Everyone agrees that it is a trap. Anpago decides that he will touch the gem.
The instant he touches it, Lord Rosh appears across the table from the characters. He smiles in an urbane and sophisticated manner, then tell them, "I'd expected you here sooner. It's been a long time since we last saw each other. The last time we chatted, you gave me a meal so I thought I would reciprocate." He waves his hand and a roast turkey appears.
The characters sit down to eat. Lord Rosh asks them, "I'd like to ask if you would consider coming to work for me. First off, you would have to stop protecting the humans."
Anpago asks, "How about my wife? Can I protect her"
Rosh waves his hand dismissively, "Oh sure. The spider wanted to conquer the human realm so he could extend the Black Forest across Davra. I have no such designs. I just want to rule them, so I can let them live. And if I rule all this territory, I would regain the respect of my peers and once again become a Dragonlord."
Tonk asks, "So your objective is to return to the Dragon Kingdoms?"
Rosh mumbles through a bite of turkey, "Mmph. Can't do that. They'd murder me."
Tonk becomes curious, "What did you do?"
"It's not important. Many have broken the rules I broke. I just got caught. It has to do with politics. Out in the Dragon Kingdoms we use spies all the time. There is a rule that when they are caught they are to be returned to their owner. But the one I caught couldn't be returned: he knew too much. So I ate him."
Tonk continues to ask questions, "What form of government would you impose upon Davra after your conquest?"
Lord Rosh replies carelessly, "Oh, Despotism of course. It's really the only way."
Marcus, not nearly so enthusiastic about Lord Rosh's plans as Tonk appears to be, asks, "Enforced through gangs of spider demons and goblins? Or would you appoint a new aristocracy?"
Lord Rosh answers with dreamy tones, "I shall create a ruling aristocracy of my own descendents! The half-dragons will rule all the lesser races!"
Longfellow becomes concerned, "How about intelligent talking crag eagles? How would they fit into your new world order? You might be able to use them as scouts and messengers..."
Rosh raises an eyebrow and ignores the talking eagle, "Frankly, you people were the most trouble in the spider's side. I brought the dagger to the Flame King's lair because I knew that if you could defeat the Flame King you'd be the perfect people to hold it. You have more than exceeded my expectations!" Lord Rosh laughs in delight.
Tonk laughs heartily, "And you know what? Even funnier? My girlfriend got killed!" And then he pulls out his blade to attack. Everyone except Marcus stands there with a ghastly surprised expression upon their faces, watching as Tonk lunges across the table and Marcus nocks an arrow. Tonk stabs Rosh deeply four times. Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab! Marcus lands an arrow right between Lord Rosh's fourth and fifth ribs. He is terribly happy to see that Lord Rosh is in fact evil, and is susceptible to his Holy Bow.
A moment later, the characters realize that Lord Rosh only looks barely damaged. They become rather upset.
Longfellow starts to panic, "What sort of dragon is he? Does anyone know? What destroyed the ship? I check my Knowledge (nature)!"
Anpago snarls, "The wreckage is on fire! Knucklehead. Have your animals attack him NOW!" Longfellow's animals charge, albeit to horribly minimal effect. Longfellow, desperate to do something useful, casts Protection from Elements upon Tonk, to shield him from fire.
And then Lord Rosh changes into his natural shape and breathes fire with his Hasted action. Only Marcus and Long-Claws are not standing in the path of the inferno. Andrinor is instantly reduced to a charred shadow. Longfellow is burned naked, and dead. Anpago just barely manages to survive, but his toad familiar Lop gets fried and the loss of the CON bonus drops him dead as well.
Anpago announces, "I have one action left! I summon something that can heal things, and order it to heal everyone!" He summons a celestial unicorn, weakly orders it to heal him. Then he falls unconscious. But the unicorn brings him back to life.
Marcus zaps Longfellow with a Cure Light Wounds wand, bringing him back to life. Longfellow moans, "I'm alive again... Ohhh..."
In the background, Longfellow's pets ferociously attack Lord Rosh. None of them hit. Longfellow summons his wondrous elephant to attack as well. It doesn't hit either.
After a moment to get over all the dying, the characters realize that Lord Rosh is really only a mature adult red dragon. Andrinor's ghost gasps, "Holamola! So he could be bigger?"
Tonk asks the dragon, "Is it too late for us to work for you? The next time someone offers us a chance for government by dragons, we'll take it!"
Lord Rosh flies up into the air. Andrinor's ghost looks up and comments, "He's just waiting for his breath weapon to recharge!"
Anpago replies, "Nope, looks like he's just casting Fireball." Everyone scatters.
Marcus comments, "Gad, there's scorched pixies falling all around me."
And then Lord Rosh hits the group with Slow. Anpago moans, "Does that affect me if I'm dying?"
Tonk reassures him, "You bleed slower." Tonk finds that the Haste effect from his sword nicely compensates for the Slow spell, leaving him pretty much unaffected. He invokes his Black Dragon Wondrous Figurine, gets upon its back, and orders it into the air. The survivors on the ground hold their collective breath as Tonk leaps onto Lord Rosh's back.
Lord Rosh decides to scrape Tonk off with his claws. Anpago watches this process and comments, "It's like a cat trying to scratch behind its ears. I've always wished I could scratch behind my ears with my legs." Tonk takes only a minimal amount of injury, thanks to the Stoneskin Andrinor left behind.
Lord Rosh spits out, "Cursed human!" And then he sends a spell off at Marcus. Marcus ends up blind.
Marcus responds by Dispelling the blindness. He tries bluffing the dragon to make Lord Rosh think he's still blind. He doesn't even need to make the attempt: Lord Rosh's overconfidence is leading him to think that he is winning the fight. Tonk notes, "What! That's not overconfidence! He is winning the fight!"
Longfellow dumps an Ice Storm on the part of Rosh that Tonk isn't on. Sadly, the storm just sloughs off the dragon, thanks to its Spell Resistance.
Anpago figures out that he can summon arrowhawks, who have ranged touch attacks doing electrical damage. Anpago summons one and uses it to zap Rosh for nine points of damage.
Tonk manages (barely) to scratch Lord Rosh.
Andrinor's ghost asks, "Wasn't there a gem around? Maybe it's his soul or something..."
Longfellow shrieks, "Eyes-That-Paralyze! Destroy the gem!" Eyes-That-Paralyze is confused. Longfellow rephrases, "Eat the gem!" Eyes-That-Paralyze obliges, though this has no visible effect upon Lord Rosh. Then Longfellow casts Regenerate Serious Wounds on himself.
Tonk sucks up additional damage. His Stoneskin is wearing thin.
Lord Rosh looks over at Anpago, who has been summoning so many irritating creatures. He muses, "What would be the coolest spell to use against him? Ray of Enfeeblement, perhaps? No, he didn't seem immune to Fireballs before, so I'll just shoot another one of those at him." Anpago gets roasted. His arrowhawk is still alive (38 hp down to 22 hp).
Marcus watches Anpago vanish behind a sheet of fire and howls, "I'm blind! I'm totally ineffective! There's no reason to attack me!" Tonk suddenly realizes that he gets attacks of opportunity against Lord Rosh when Lord Rosh casts spells. Doesn't do any good, though.
Marcus preps up Cat's Grace for himself, then loots the Cloak of the Mountebank from Andrinor's body. Tonk notices and yells, "I guarantee that the dragon is not expecting you to teleport onto its back!"
Marcus responds, "How much do you weigh?"
"With all my gear, about three hundred pounds!"
"Start dropping shit!"
"WHAT! Have you totally cracked? Do you seriously think Rosh is going to agree to a truce just because I strip down to my BVD's?"
Anpago's arrowhawk does some additional damage. His celestial unicorn heals the arrowhawk. Both of them seem to be doing just fine on their own even though their erstwhile master is just a flash-fried shadow behind them.
Longfellow manages to get off a Flame Strike that does some divine damage from extreme range under cover, then Lord Rosh does flame breath on him. Longfellow is almost killed, except for the regeneration. Longfellow flutters weakly.
Marcus realizes that it is his turn, and that the dragon is now 150 feet away from him. He asks Andrinor's ghost, "So, what do you have on you?" Marcus loots Andrinor's corpse. He pulls off Andrinor's Boots of Speed, then pulls them on, removing his own boots with a knife in the process. He grabs the Wand of Vicious Magic Missiles, drinks a Potion of Glibness, and runs for it.
Anpago's summoned creatures move into position to either heal Longfellow or zap the dragon. Up overhead, Tonk sucks up some more damage.
Longfellow notices the unicorn nosing his nearly dead carcass. He rather desperately tries to shoo the creature away. He whispers, "I'm playing dead! Get away, you stupid unicorn!" Foosh. Longfellow gets fried by another Fireball. So much for playing: he joins the ranks of the for-real dead.
Anpago's ghost tips his little faery cap and asks, "Hey, cousin! What kept you so long?"
Longfellow's ghost turns up his beak and replies, "I'm not speaking to you! I'm still upset over that unicorn trick."
Anpago's arrowhawk delivers another minor zap to Lord Rosh. Then the unicorn heals the arrowhawk.
Lord Rosh Fireballs his own head. Tonk moans, "Oh, crap! Now I'm going to take it all..." The damage eats through the Protection from Elements; that plus the Ring of Chill protects him from any harm.
Lord Rosh curses, "You are damned hard to kill, human!"
The arrowhawk manages to inflict another few points of damage. Fourteen this time. The distraction gives Tonk an opportunity to wind up for a mighty swing. He hits three times. He inflicts 45 points of damage. Lord Rosh is looking pretty badly wounded.
Then Lord Rosh does the scratch-your-ears-with-your-feet trick again and Tonk takes more damage. Everyone presumes that he's a goner, but he emerges from a torrent of draconic claws to crow, "I'm still alive! And I have eight points of Stoneskin left!"
Marcus stands off and tries to make the Wand of Vicious Magic Missiles work for him. He suffers a "mishap." It won't work for him again until tomorrow. He curses, "This damn thing is broke, man!" He starts preparing his "The pixies made me do it!" surrender speech.
Anpago's arrowhawk continues to plink away at Lord Rosh. And Tonk's wyrmling does its part. But then Tonk manages to get a critical hit and delivers another 45 points of damage. Lord Rosh falls from the sky with Tonk still clinging desperately to his back. Tonk lets the last of the Stoneskin absorb most of the injury from the fall, then crawls out from beneath the dead dragon, having hardly been hurt. He estimates that he took about 268 points of damage total, almost all of which was absorbed by Stoneskin and Protection from Elements.
Tonk looks around and asks, "Guys? Do we have enough... guys? Guys? Where is everyone?" Only Tonk and Marcus are left after all the summoned animals fade away. Tonk, "I'm demanding some free Raise Deads when we get back to Highthrone."
Tonk cuts Lord Rosh's head off. Even with his magic sword it takes him quite a while.
Anpago's ghost comments, "we should be able to sell the corpse of Lord Rosh for something."
Andrinor's ghost replies, "Screw that! We're gonna stuff that bitch and put him in our house!"
Longfellow's ghost just rolls his eyes.
Tonk and Marcus cart the remains of the fallen back to Highthrone, along with enough dragon trophies to reassure the authorities. They learn that Partos Kincara was killed days ago, fighting Lord Rosh. His last words were reported to be, "None can stand before my amazing wizardry... nuts..." The characters decide to spend some time raiding his bookstore.
Anpago gets Reincarnated as a brown bear. Andrinor's ghost mocks him, "Ha ha! No more spellcasting for you!"
Anpago swats with his paw and complains, "Rrargh..."
Marcus gently explains to Anpago, "Oh, but you can talk! The only reason Anpago says "Awk!" all the time is because he wants to!" Anpago resolves to get his original form restored somehow. And in the meantime he spends his time drinking, and raging around as an angry drunken 10th level bear wizard.
Andrinor gets Raised. He flies off to join up with Mebble the Hawk.
Longfellow gets Raised, because he's really comfortable with the idea of being a bird.
Nominally, killing Lord Rosh was worth 26,400 experience points. Divided two ways, this gives Tonk and Marcus 13,200 experience points each, leaving everyone else out in the cold. Not that it matters at this point...