Chuck (Marcus Sangaree) and Chris (Tonk Sangaree) meet early at his house; they grab lunch at Rudy's and mock the others while they wait for them to show up. Tim (Anpago Yost) decides that he has time to finish his ethics paper later and shows up for the game. Georgina (Gero) finds her way to Chris' and complements us on our ability to give directions. Paul finally shows up after a couple of games of Carcasonne. We thank him for taking a shower prior to his arrival. Billy (Andrinor) is under the weather and decides not to show. Bruce (Longfellow Yost) rather primly opines that going to ballroom dance seminars is much more important than gaming, but nobody responds because he's only present through the ghostly influence of Writer's License.
Longfellow Yost vanishes into the mountains to go a courtin' a lady crag eagle. The other characters are glad to see him go, as they'd grown thoroughly tired of hearing him describe how his beloved was clear of eye and straight of wing. Over. And over. And over again. Andrinor is simply missing, but no thinks this unusual at all. Anpago Yost chirps, "I bet he's off on another peyote-and-pixie-stick bender. He'll be back after a week moaning about spectral coyotes and the authoritative Brooke Gladstone." Nobody else understands what Anpago is talking about. A moment later, Anpago is forced to admit that he doesn't understand either.
The remaining characters spend some time discussing what to do with the hidden cache of raw sky metal they found such a long time ago. They finally decide to pass the knowledge of the Sky Metal Mine along to Highthrone. They quite easily get an audience with the Lord Holder. Too easily. The party votes to have the suave and eloquent Marcus Sangaree speak for them. Marcus complains, "But my only social skill is lying!" Tonk Sangaree refuses to let Marcus back down, reassuring him, "That'll do fine as long as you do it competently."
The Lord Holder offers his gracious thanks for the characters generous gift. He promises to send representatives from the Miner's Guild. In a similar act of generosity, the characters decide to warn them about the traps. Their reward is 1500 gold, calculated from the size of the vein.
The characters are on the verge of scampering off with their money, but the Lord Holder indicates that he has another matter for which he requires their attention. The characters instantly understand that their thoughts should drift towards England. He offers them a special mission. He explains that due to their special knowledge of the recent shifts in the climate, knowledge that he points out is a State Secret, the characters are uniquely qualified for a difficult and dangerous task. He asks the characters to go find an artifact to help re-enchant the volcano and safeguard the local environment. Tonk grumbles that State Secrets seem to be Highthrone's Number One commodity. From nowhere, he hears Longfellow's phantom voice suggest, "If you think these guys are corrupt, you should read China Miéville's novel Perdido Street Station. The Lord Holder has nothing on Mayor Rudgutter. I'll loan it to you if you're interested." Marcus Sangaree mutters something about somebody's Writer's License being in grave danger of imminent revocation.
With all the asides out of the way, the Lord Holder continues to explain. Long ago, a Temple of Hieroneous was built on a volcano some distance to the north. A magical artifact, possibly a stone (The Lord Holder proves to be less than knowledgeable on the subject) protected it from the volcano. Over 50 years ago, the temple was attacked by something. Some say it was attacked by mercenaries. Others say it was malcontents. And some of the characters find themselves thinking that the Lord Holder of Snack Foods certainly didn't get his job based upon an encyclopedic knowledge of the facts. Whoever attacked the temple, the rumor is that the temple was cursed and abandoned. The characters are relieved to find that the Lord Holder at least knows that the place isn't currently operating.
The temple is north of Highthrone, near the city of Serene. It is roughly eight days travel away by road. The characters debate whether to travel thru the uncharted wilderness or by road. Marcus backs the idea that the wilderness offers more chances for sweet, sweet experience points, and assures the others that their fighting skill will carry the group through the rough patches. Tonk and Gero look at each other rather dubiously. Tonk explains very gently, "If we start hearing banjos, we're leaving you behind." Marcus changes his mind and agrees with road plan.
Flush with cash, the characters head over to Grimm's to gear up. Ever the impulsive shoppers, they check out this week's specials:
Tonk looks over the collection. He suggests, "Hey Marcus! Maybe if you bought that Bracelet of Friends you could get yourself some friends, like the rest of us have already." Marcus sulks and heads over to look at the wands currently in stock:
Tonk finds out that wands of Cure Light Wounds are so common that the staff doesn't even bother drawing attention to them. He buys one. Marcus buys a thunderstone, a tanglefoot bag and 30 +1 Arrows. Both of them buy 21 days of trail rations. Gero buys a couple of antitoxins and some bolts for quarrels. She comments that she can use her Flaming Crossbow to hunt for food. "I'll kill it and cook it at the same time" Tonk gently persuades her to buy 21 days of rations too, just to flavor the wild game.
Tonk decides to get his peaks ram shaved so it can stand the warmer climate outside of Highthrone. The others think this strange but follow his lead. Afterwards, Tonk asks Marcus, "I just got my peaks ram shaved. Why are you bald all of a sudden?" Marcus says nothing.
The characters enjoy five days of uneventful plodding along the roads. They skirt the town of Oakwood and camp at the base of the mountains at the end of the fifth day. In the morning, they begin their ascent. Tonk reassures the others that if they get cold they can do a Tauntaun on the peaks ram. The others let this comment pass.
Some time later, Marcus and Anpago notice a troll sitting at the mouth of a cave. Tonk is busy looking at his Ram and sees nothing. Gero is busy watching fireflies. The troll is watching the characters. Its stomach grumbles in hunger. It leaps to the attack.
The characters find that the terrain is quite difficult, and that everyone is restricted to half their normal movement speed.
The troll charges the group, followed by his larger mud- and filth-coated brother. Anpago lets loose with a Fireball and wounds both trolls. Gero lets loose with her fiery arrows. She chants, "Fire Good!" Marcus lands an arrow on the guard troll. Tonk counter charges the guard troll and drops it.
Tonk is about to take his victory lap when the troll stands back up weakly and swings at him. Tonk jumps back; the troll's claw passes through the air where he had been standing. Filth Troll charges Tonk and hands him his appendix.
Anpago zaps the Guard Troll with Magic Missiles. Once again, the creature goes down. Nobody has any faith that this situation will last. Gero narrowly misses Tonk with a Flaming Quarrel. Marcus shouts out, "Don't worry, I have Precise Shot!" He sends an arrow past Tonk's ear and into Filth Troll's wish-bone. Filth Troll doesn't let this distraction get in the way of his desire to make himself a Tonk-Kabob.
The party learns that Trolls are like PC's: they don't fear death. Anpago flies down and pours acid on the Guard Troll's face. The creature thrashes around for a bit, then lies still. Gero charges Filth troll and slashes at its knees. Marcus pegs it twice with arrows. The creature sags to the ground. Tonk screams to the heavens and chops at the fallen troll, howling, "And stay dead!"
A third troll staggers out of the cave, complaining that the noise of the fight woke it from the most beautiful dream. Anpago does not allow this distraction to dissuade him from pouring acid on the body of the Guard Troll. Gero decides it is simpler to just bust a cap crossbow-style on the downed Filth Troll. Anpago notices that fire can have the same kind of beautiful effects upon trolls as acid, so he follows up with a Fireball, "Just to be sure."
Marcus, Tonk and Gero all put their own kind of hurt on Sleepy Troll. Gero learns that if you sit on the troll's chest and put a flaming crossbow bolt betweens it eyes it may die. Anpago claims that the Flaming Crossbow is the bottle rocket of the dungeon world.
With all the trolls safely burned and acid-dipped, the characters search their lair for loot. They come up with quite a bit of random treasure:
Marcus notes that at least there isn't a hand in the gauntlet.
The characters continue on after healing Tonk's wounds. After a few miles, they make camp for the night. Tonk and his animal friends agree to take the first watch. Amazingly, Tonk, his boar and his peaks ram all fail to make spot checks to detect four 30 ft long winged things "sneaking up" on the sleeping characters. The wyverns attack in a rush of chaos and leathery wings. Tonk starts having flashbacks. He howls, "Orcs in the wire! Orcs in the wire!" The wyverns come in from the sky.
Marcus and Gero find themselves swiftly scooped up by wyverns. Anpago hits the one holding Marcus with Magic Missiles, but only wounds the beast. Gero flies into a berserker rage after her rude awakening and strikes out at the wyvern carrying her. She merely annoys it, which only serves to deepen her rage. Tonk rather shamefacedly shoots some arrows at the wyvern carrying Marcus. Marcus screams, "Careful! You don't have Precise Shot!"
Marcus attempts to wiggle from the Wyvern's grasp and barely fails. The wyvern tightens its grip. Ribs pop. Marcus screams. Then the wyvern hits him with its venomous stinger. Marcus goes very limp. He murmurs, "I can see the light. I see Morgan, I see Longfellow as a human. I feel cold... so very, very cold." Marcus fades away.
Anpago casts a tanglefoot bag at the wyvern carrying Gero. He manages to glue the creature's wings together. It plummets to the ground. Gero hacks at it with crazed fervor, heedless of the fact that she is falling as well. Tonk finally manages to end it with a pair of well-aimed arrows. Gero bounces off the ground, suffering only minor wounds. She explains, "My anger makes me strong!" She mops her brow with a piece of severed wyvern wing. Nobody is willing to dispute her claim.
Anpago peppers the wyvern that killed Marcus with Magic Missiles. Enraged, the beast wheels about and attempts to skewer the invisible pixie with stinger and claw, but Anpago evades its strike and kills it with his last Magic Missile spell.
Tonk swings his sword at the next wyvern as swoops down on him. He hacks three of it toes off and nearly cleaves it in two with his follow-through. Gero finishes off the wyvern as it crashes into the camp fire. She breathes deep and exclaims, "Man, I just love that smell!"
The characters recover Marcus' body and try to harvest some poison stingers. Inexplicably, Longfellow appears to Reincarnate Marcus into the body of an elf. Marcus sighs, "I thought Olidammara liked Satyrs. Oh well, I'm still the prettiest and I can pick up Elf chicks."
The characters each gain 1500 experience points. The curtain drops as the characters wander thread bare and beaten into the village at the foot of the mountain.