Bruce staggers in to Chris' (Dmitri Baranov) house hours and hours late, and even hours later than he said he would. He mumbles something about getting caught out in the rain and having to panhandle for blood rubies to get home. Chris rolls his eyes and explains, "You really need to stop talking about the strange land of make-believe you occupy; it's starting to really disturb me. But I'm still glad you showed up! We just finished watching Val Kilmer play Rainman playing an amnesiac assassin! And now we're watching Queen Latifah drive cars!" Paul (Smith) weakly moans out, "Drive, Latifah! Drive!" Chuck (Winston Percy-Smythe) is no longer able to speak in human language.
Bruce relates a short and witty (at least in his mind) story about trapping rabid raccoons with have-a-heart traps. Paul asks, "How can you persuade those things to go into traps? I've heard that they're smarter than humans!" Chris offers, "Funny you should mention that. The last time I went to see a doctor, it was a raccoon. 'Excuse me while I wash my hands! What seems to be the problem?'" Chuck rouses himself from his stupor to grumble something about how health plans have gotten so much lousier in recent years.
The curtain rises upon the characters as they head back to Peter Vencenne's country manor, having just rescued Mathieu and Adeline Legard from besieged Antwerp. Dmitri Baranov is inconsolable on the ride back to Calais, "Smith got three Hussars and I only got one! He stole my kill!"
Smith points out, "That's because you hid when they first showed up, while I just stood out in the street."
The characters spend some time staying with Peter Vencenne, enjoying his lifestyle. They really have no choice, as the longshoremen are still on strike and their goods cannot be unloaded from the Musaraigne d'Egrappage.
Baranov asks, "How many longshoremen do you need to kill to end a strike?"
Percy Winston-Smythe, in between rounds of whist, comments, "Only one or two. You just need to do it very publicly and very brutally."
Smith offers, "It is amazing to me the freedoms that you people enjoy here. We need to have a political system where wealth is equally shared among all workers."
Baranov perks up, "We could call it Capitalism! Every crime could be punished by death, or by banishment to Siberia!"
Two weeks elapse, and the Autumn of 1831 arrives. Baranov is forced to have all of his pants taken out a bit to compensate for the effects of good French cuisine. Winston-Smythe moans that he needs to have his pants taken in, owing to the difficulty he is having in finding anything palatable to eat. He mourns, "If only they would agree to boil the food the way it should be! An hour isn't nearly enough! It must stay in the pot for at least six!" Even Smith shudders at the thought.
And then a letter from The Egyptian arrives. The characters are surprised to find out that he is in Munich, in Bavaria. Winston-Smythe exclaims, "Gad! I thought he was still on Mars!"
Baranov reflects, "I'm just amazed that you can scribble an address like that on a letter and have it actually show up in two weeks."
The Egyptian's letter explains that he has managed to parlay his discoveries into a certain amount of notoriety and a lecture tour. He includes a flyer advertising his lecture series on the Wonders of the Emperor Tower at the Munich Academy of Sciences. He suggests that the characters should join him in Munich in a month and see the lecture; he includes some tickets (the characters notice that the stated ticket price is 4 Marks, or about 10 Livre - quite a sum for most Europeans). The characters debate the wisdom of selling Martian artifacts on the steps of the lecture hall. Then Winston-Smythe suggests using them instead to conjure the characters' ways into the bedchambers of attractive Bavarian women. Baranov agrees with this alternate plan, though he is skeptical that there is such a thing as an attractive Bavarian of any gender.
Beyond the tawdry pleasures of lectures and seduction, the Egyptian also indicates that he has a matter of some concern. He wants to speak to the characters about it, and thinks that they will see just as much interest in it as he does.
The characters promptly make preparations to go to Munich. Dmitri Baranov prepares by having three satchels made with space for paperwork, plus room for any two of tomahawks, military picks, or maces. The resulting baggage costs 20 Lv each, is of fairly substantial size, but looks very respectable. 20 Lv more buys him a pair of glasses.
Smith announces, "I want a pair of robot-sized lederhosen made. And a green hat with a feather. I want to blend in!" 50 Lv gets him all that, plus a pair of suspenders. Sadly, the tailor responsible for the work is driven insane for the rest of his days.
Winston-Smythe buys slightly heavier clothes, as a chill will be coming on soon. Baranov simply wears his Russian aristocrat's clothing, which were designed for walking through eight-foot snowdrifts. Both of them also get their laundry done and have their boots polished.
The journey to Munich takes four days. The characters travel by coach and railroad, accompanied by servants, luggage and some Martian baubles. They are easily able to find lodging at the Imperial Hotel.
Soon upon their arrival in town, they arrange to meet with the Egyptian. He is quite glad to see them, clapping Baranov upon the shoulders and exclaiming, "So good to see you again! Too bad about old Quent? How about Pépin?"
Baranov explains, "He's gone to a... spa. You know, for the cure."
The Egyptian explains that his problems have a name: Leopold Windengald. The man was a theorist and scholar who specialized in translating obscure Martian hieroglyphics. During his life, he compiled copious journals, of which he managed to publish perhaps 10%. The Egyptian thinks that Windengald might have translated an ancient Xea-Osk document describing how to program a clockwork brain.
Unfortunately, Windengald didn't get much credit from academia during his life. His last patron was the Romanian noble Baron Pyrkul. He died maybe three or four years ago, while he was in Pyrkul's employ. Most of what the Egyptian knows of Windengald's later work comes from his former assistant, a Bavarian named Peter Barneld. At the time, Barneld worked as a copyist; he is noted as being quite a good calligrapher. When Barneld left Windenglad for the last time, he knew that the man was suffering from a lung disease (consumption). He departed from Castle Pyrkul to send several letters and visit his own family. Upon his return, the Baron's men refused him entry. He suspected this was from fear of contagion, but has made two trips subsequent and hasn't gotten access to Windengald's papers.
In the intervening years, Barneld has passed his Baccalaureate exams at the University of Munich and has worked on what of Windengald's notes and published work he has. He finds tantalizing clues of Windengald's last project, but he needs access to the rest of the man's notes.
The Egyptian's offer is simple: Barneld has asked his help, and the Egyptian immediately thought that the characters would be just the people for the task. He wants them to travel into Romania to Castle Pyrkul and bring back Windengald's notes. The Egyptian has already obtained formal permission to edit and publish Windengald's papers from his estranged wife. If the characters help him, he will list Pépin as an editor of the collection, and all the other characters as contributors. They will also have an opportunity to see Windengald's notes before publication. This could give them as much as a year or two to exploit any practical information they can find.
Predictably, the characters agree to the Egyptian's request.
The Egyptian tells the characters what he knows about Castle Pyrkul and the surrounding area. The Baron's castle is ringed on two sides by cliffs and one side by impenetrable mountains, overlooking over a river valley. There is surely no train service to the district, and maybe no coach service. The nearest town of any consequence is Gyelma. The nearest official prison is in the town of Hongek. Baranov mentions, "You know, Egyptian, I am impressed that you know where the nearest Romanian prison is to this place."
The Egyptian is modest, "It is nothing. I have made a study of prisons in Europe. I find that that it can often be very helpful in my line of work."
Pyrkul Castle is not actually located above the tree line, but it's close so even in early Autumn there are occasional snowfalls. Baranov points out, "Fortunately, we're going in the dead of winter, so we won't have that problem! The snowfalls will be continual! And maybe we'll learn the taste of human flesh too!" It is obvious to everyone that this is not a trip for their ssaug allies.
The characters purchase some additional equipment, including climbing gear, rifles for anyone who doesn't have one yet, fresh gunpowder, breaking and entering gear, camping gear, preserved rations, and gold coins. The total cost is 105 Lv, including three weeks of food for five people (105 person-days). All the supplies mass 105 kg. Winston-Smythe offers, "The robot can carry it!"
The characters learn that the local Romanian currency is the zloty, a silver coin. Four zlotys are nominally equal to one Livre. The characters bring gold Marks ($4 or 10 Lv each) instead, with the plan of stocking up on zlotys once they get close to the Romanian border. This is rather a plan of necessity: nobody in Munich can provide zlotys anyway.
The characters also decide to hire guides and translators once they get closer to Romania. They hear that labor costs in Romania are one-third what they would otherwise be, so either a guide or a translator will cost 160 zlotys/mo, or 40 Lv/mo.
For no reason at all, Smith tells the others, "Trade you a cigarette for that Moon Pie." Everyone else suddenly breaks out in nervous laughter.
The characters stop in a Hungarian border town to get their zlotys and their hirelings. Zlotys turn out to be large, heavy coins, much bigger than a Livre or a Mark, but much more gray. The characters suspect that there is a lot of lead in them. Baranov notices that small children aren't allowed to handle them. Winston-Smythe suggests, "Perhaps we shouldn't get as many zlotys as we'd been thinking." All notice that the locals are very interested in exchanging their zlotys for Livre and Marks.
The characters turn to the question of finding a translator. They end up with a young man named Razmun who speaks some French and Romanian. They find that he spent some time in the University in Paris. The priest who introduces Razmun indicates that if the characters can convince the youth's father (a local tradesman and farmer), then he should be able to help you. Baranov gives the priest 500 Lv; the priest is stunned by the money, but eventually accepts it and agrees to talk to Razmun's father.
Razmun's father is a gruff, weathered fellow who clearly doesn't have much use for foreigners, but who is reluctantly willing to accept their money. By the time the characters speak to Razmun's father, he has already learned that the characters are scientists, and that Smith knows mathematics. He is eager to go, and handles the harder parts of the negotiations (that is, all the parts that happen in Hungarian). The characters agree to pay standard prices for Razmun's time, with two months paid in advance in French coins. Razmun's father collects the money.
The characters also hire two local guides, Hurgun and Orgulf. Both together cost 200 zlotys/month, or 50 Livre/mo. One is assistant constable for the district, the other has served as a forester. Baranov notices that Hurgun is armed with an antique flintlock, while Orgulf's musket is actually a matchlock. Both weapons are well-maintained. He tell them, "Congratulations, guys! We're going to the big city for a couple of days to buy you guys rifles!" The characters make a four-day detour to Budapest to buy rifled muskets and ammunition for the guides. Razmun pleads with his father for money when he hears he's going to Budapest. He wants to buy books, a desire that his father plainly thinks is nothing shy of ridiculous. Baranov waits until the boy shuts up, then just gives him 50 Lv. Baranov buys him a rifle too, even though it is obvious that he doesn't know how to use one. The characters have him practice with the two guides.
On the way to Budapest, the characters learn that Razmun is a free spirit, and fast-talker. He talks with Smith about astronomy, mathematics, cartography, navigation and so on. When he was younger, he talked his way into the University for a year, but then had to leave when his promises came due. In Budapest, he buys a book on geography and one on drafting techniques. He announces that he wants to travel around Hungary and produce the first proper map of the nation.
Bribing the Romanian toll-guard costs one zloty. Baranov comments, "I should retire here and live like a king!"
Smith points out, "Trouble is that sooner or later the real King will show up. Of course, we're like never-ending fountains of violence, so we might be able to just handle the situation."
The characters walk for three days through rural Romania. Winston-Smythe mentions, "Remind me when we are done that we can give the extra food to the guides." The characters spend their time learning phrases in Romanian.
Smith continues to wear his lederhosen, "to blend in." Baranov suggests, "You mock our ways because you're going to kill us!" Smith doesn't deny anything.
The characters finally reach Pyrkul valley. Castle Pyrkul is easily visible high in the mountains. Razmun asks around, then explains that the locals say that the Baron is an evil man, but they haven't seen him for years. The whole valley is his territory, but the taxes are collected by his man Hund, who is more a wall-that-walks than a man. Hund normally comes around with several carts manned by castle folk, all of whom wear long, ragged cloaks. The tax demands are generally in kind: craftsmen are told what to make in the beginning of the year, then must deliver at the end. For example, a blacksmith might be told that his tax obligation is to make 20 axes for the year. Farmers simply pay their taxes out of the harvest.
Baranov asks, "Do they ever come around demanding 5000 feet of copper wire?" He is reassured when Razmun tells him no.
Castle Pyrkul is a huge, shambling pile of stone attached to a mountainside. Some of the roofs have fallen in under weight of snow. The castle gates are huge and decrepit. The path leading up to them is navigable by cart now, but perhaps will not be in a month.
The characters hammer upon the gates, then have a very unpromising conversation with someone inside. They are told that the gates cannot be opened until the Winter Solstice Festival. The characters look around and conclude that there is not much traffic on the path up to the castle: some carts four rains ago (probably carrying the harvest) and two men one rain ago. From the direction of their tracks, the two men went to hunt deer. One of them is a giant, perhaps seven feet tall. Winston-Smythe comments, "That must be the Hund guy the villagers told us about."
The characters back off and set up camp. They set watches. Baranov reassures Razmun, "Don't worry, the robot can kill what, twenty men before you get tired or bored? Or three vampires?" That night, the characters set up dummies around the fire, then hide in the bushes and wait for the castle-dwellers to attack. They are disappointed that there are no attackers, but there are wolves out there. They also see that there is one tower towards the back of the keep where a bright fire burns all night, putting out strange clouds of orange and red smoke. The smoke vanishes at dawn.
In the morning, the characters can scent the faint odors of sulphur and brimstone coming from the castle. Baranov tells the others, "This is not good! Sulfur, brimstone are evil! Uncle Scratch is in that castle!"
Winston-Smythe asks, "The Pope?"
Baranov clarifies, "No, Uncle Scratch."
Winston-Smythe tries the gates. He finds that they're not locked. Baranov congratulates him, "Way to go, Englishman!" The characters are able to open the gates enough to admit one person; something solid prevents them from opening any wider. Baranov goes first and finds that three boulders have been placed to block the gates. They are large enough that it would require several strong men to move, but there are signs that they have been moved around in the past. Several workers are in the bailey; all are swaddled in cloaks. They back up when they see Baranov.
The Russian yells out, "Razman! Get in here! Hide behind me if you must, but tell them not to be alarmed!"
Razmun calls out, "Do not be alarmed! We just want the papieren!"
The workers huddle.
Razmun asks again, "What is the thing that smells like sulfur?"
"Old Woman!"
He requests clarification, "Who is the old woman?"
"Old Woman!"
Then the situation degrades, with all the castle people drawing out blades and advancing as one in an oddly unified way. The characters attack. Things get more interesting when Hund and his compatriot Wolf join in, armed with axe and sword. Smith charges Hund. Much violence follows. The characters are quite dismayed to find that the castle-dwellers are perfectly willing to throw themselves in front of the characters' blades to keep Wolf and Hund in the fight.
The characters are fairly confident of their success until a mysterious old woman shows up in the keep doorway and throws something foul-smelling at Baranov. She tell the Russian to kill his friends, and much to their dismay Baranov seems inclined to obey her. Fortunately, Winston-Smythe puts an end to the problems by slipping past Hund and threatening the old woman with his blade.
The characters enter into negotiations that last just long enough for Razman shoots the Old Woman with the Russian's rifle. He regretfully explains, "Sorry, Romanian Witch. Had to be done. You're not from around here. She was working with Satan."
Baranov reassures the lad, "Oh, it's all right."
The characters find that the wrapped-up castle folk are tattooed all over. Strange poultices are bound to their chests. They look sallow and poorly-nourished.
Baranov comments, "Poor bastards. I think we should burn their bodies."
Razmun is emphatic, "We should decapitate them first! And expose the ashes to the sun!"
Baranov gets into the spirit, "I agree. We're going to town on these guys."
Winston-Smythe cautions, "Maybe let's stop with decapitation for now, and move on to burning them after we clear the rest of the place."
The characters are quickly able to find Windengald's laboratory and quarters. The scientist obviously died in his lab of consumption, apparently barricaded inside. Characters wrap up the remains appropriately to bring back to Munich. They find volume after volume of hand-bound notes, at least a cart-load's worth, and several copies of Martian manuscripts, but no originals. They have the guides package everything up for transport back to Munich.
With Windengald's papers dealt with, the characters go through the castle looking for any other portable loot. They manage to come up with:
Baron Pyrkul appears to be dead - the body is in an impromptu mausoleum behind the great hall.
The characters find that the religious paraphernalia has all been removed from the chapel and desecrated. It is all up in the tower, placed around a little black altar. Three cauldrons stand over a huge fire-pit nearby. The entire tower is littered with piles of foul-smelling items. The characters conclude that the Old Woman was living in the tower.
The characters make it back to Munich and sell their various items of loot. They get 450 Lv for each of the suits of armor, and 2760 Lv for the scepter, sword and signet ring. Their total take is 4560 Lv, less 1774 Lv in expenses. The net is 2786 Lv, which they divide into three shares of 928 Lv.
Each character gains three experience points.