Ernest (Carlos Juan Vincent Sanchez) is far away in DC today and Tim (Christophe Joseph Pépin) is still working, so the group is reduced to Bruce, Chris (Dmitri Baranov), Chuck (Percy Winston-Smythe) and Paul (Smith). And all of us are far too tired to write anything suitably delirious today, so we'll just go with this.
The characters manage to make it back to Beldet in French Nilosyrtis along with Auguste Wartleby and his various mechanical men. Chief among these is their captive, the insane mechanical man Fritz. Wartleby explain that he intends to install Fritz's brain in a new body and wipe it clean. He tells the characters that European scientists do not yet know how to make clockwork brains, and that every mechanical man is based around an artifact brain extracted from a Xea-Osk ruin. Retrieved brains are erased with aetheric devices designed from Xea-Osk artifacts and then reprogrammed.
The characters' next question is how the brains are reprogrammed, once they have been erased. Auguste Wartleby tells them about the pioneer Gabriel Marcher. Over the course of many years of frustrating effort, he learned how to create a base personality, working from readings taken from several dozen already-programmed brains. All mechanical man personalities since then have been based upon his work. Unfortunately, sometimes the standard personality does not match well with a given brain, leading to detrimental personality traits and bouts of madness. This is what Wartleby thinks happened to the unfortunate Fritz, though he cannot explain how Fritz was able to pass his madness on to another of Wartleby's servants.
The characters discuss interrogating Fritz prior to the brain-wipe, but never really warm to the project. Instead, Smith talks to him about sail designs. He learns that Wartleby's designs are similar to the designs the characters got from the Emperor Tower, but adapted for a different purpose: Wartleby's goal was to create a set of sails that would work at low speeds and relatively low altitudes, suitable for point-to-point travel on a planetary surface. He insists that his designs would have worked, had his crew not gone insane upon him.
Their interest in Auguste Wartleby concluded, the characters turn to purchasing trade goods to fill the Musaraigne d'Egrappage's holds. They already know that phlogiston prices on Earth are low, so they decide to invest in Martian crafts and artworks. Some time ago, an investment of 2000 Lv in various crafts and artworks in Argyre brought them a price of 8800 Lv in Amsterdam (less 30% in taxes).
| Good | Type | Price (Beldet) |
|---|---|---|
| Xea-Osk Crafts | low-grade | 0.5 Lv/kg |
| Xea-Osk Crafts | high-grade | 10 Lv/kg |
| Xea-Osk wine | low-quality | 1 Lv/liter |
| Xea-Osk wine | good quality | 5 Lv/liter |
| Phlogiston | 250 Lv/ton | |
| Passenger | shared cabin | 220 Lv each |
| Passenger | steerage | 60 Lv each |
Smith claims that the journey to Earth will take about forty days. Dmitri Baranov sets the passage rates based upon that estimate. The two of them decide upon a departure date thirty-five days hence, once the money from the characters' rice sales comes through. They hire an agent to work for five weeks to find them passengers. He comes up with five cabin passengers and another seventeen steerage passengers (one Merchant roll per week; find one passenger for every point by which the roll is made. 1 in 6 chance the passenger is a cabin passenger, otherwise steerage).
Winston-Smythe manages to negotiate a 50% discount on high-grade Martian crafts, paying only 5 Lv/kilo for them. He cuts Baranov and Smith in on the deal. Among the three of them they invest 6000 Lv in 12,000 kg of low-grade trinkets and 7000 Lv in 1400 kg of high-grade trinkets. Baranov puts in 2000 Lv, Winston-Smythe puts in 1000 Lv and Smith invests a lordly 10,000 Lv. Baranov also purchases four tons of phlogiston for 1000 Lv, 500 Lv in 500 liters of low-grade Xea-Osk wine, and 1500 Lv in 300 liters high-grade Xea-Osk wine.
Winston-Smythe spends a lot of time before the departure gambling. He makes 195 Lv. Baranov suggests that he should give up such low-grade rackets. Winston-Smythe just smirks and counts his hard-won coins.
The characters have one final errand before departing for Earth: they must obtain vengeance against Monsieur Bequard, the circus-master who originally hired out two of his performers to Carlos Juan Vincent Sanchez as so-called native guides.
Baranov starts out by finding the dead guides' families. He gives each of them 100 Lv by way of apology. Winston-Smythe complains, "You're overpaying them! They don't know what to do with so much money! They'll just spend it on drugs and whiskey, and then they'll just procreate more!"
Baranov replies, "And this is a problem?" He turns to finding Monsieur Bequard, as he is the only character who still has a Streetwise skill. He does a yeoman's job of it: he quickly learns that Bequard owns the Circus Fantastique on the Rue de Utang. His sources tell him that Bequard can generally be found at the circus after three in the afternoon.
Smith listens to Baranov's information and expresses some dismay: "I'm not so sure about this plan any more. Circus people are scary." The others ignore him.
The characters go to the Circus Fantastique. They are dressed in their finest clothing. Baranov wears a mace at his belt, and a pick "concealed" under his cloak. The others wear their regular weapons.
The circus building is a garishly-painted former warehouse in a questionable part of town. They see plenty of respectable-looking people going to the circus, in addition to large numbers of riff-raff. They do notice that there are few unescorted ladies among the circus-goers, and that most of the gentlemen are wearing swords (albeit stylish ones).
There are three grades of ticket at the Circus Fantastique, corresponding very nicely to their three grades of expected customer. Box seats cost 5 Lv each, seats in the stands cost 1 Lv each, and standing room can be had for a single sou.
Winston-Smythe and Baranov are both less than impressed with the circus, but understand how it can be popular with the provincial aristocracy. Smith loves every minute of it. They note that it includes a heavy measure of pandering to common prejudices about the Xea-Osk and the Xea-Shvet. Monsieur Bequard is the MC and very much the center of attention.
After performance, characters bribe their way past a roustabout to get backstage. They find that they are mostly ignored once they get past the so-called security: the performers backstage are all paying attention to their own problems: daukha-apak trainers mistreating animals, acrobats loosening up, savages getting drunk.
Baranov finds a door labeled, "M. Bequard - No Admittance!" He pushes his way into a small office. Bequard and another man are inside. Baranov demands, "I want to hire some native guides. You know, the type that will get you lost in the wilderness."
Bequard responds, "I have none. Wait, who are you people?"
Baranov rumbles, "We are friends of the late Spaniard. He died in excruciating pain. Sonic troubles of the bowels, you know. His last words were, 'My last thoughts are of my fiancé, torturing and blinding the man who hired out those guides.'"
Bequard claims that he believed that his natives were real natives. Fortunately, he's speaking French so Smith doesn't understand him. Nobody else really believes him, but they can't tell if he believes his own words.
The characters notice that the other man in the room is even seedier-looking than Bequard. Also, he appears to be packing heat under his coat.
The characters ignore the other man and put additional pressure upon Bequard, who pleads for his life. Baranov notices that Bequard is wearing a very nice gold watch, one probably worth at least 500 Lv. Baranov makes Bequard an offer he can't refuse to sell the watch for 300 Lv. Bequard agrees.
The watch turns out to have an inscription on the back, in French: "Jacques - My love for you will always grow. Come back to my arms from your voyage into the void - Ernestine" Inside there is a lithograph of a beautiful woman. The characters hire a goldsmith to change the inscription to "Carlos". The goldsmith claims that the watch is worth at least 600 Lv, but is in need of some work. Baranov pays him 20 Lv for the inscription, and 20 Lv to clean it up and oil the workings.
Baranov reflects upon his evening, "I didn't get to kill anybody tonight, but at the same time Carlos is going to have some screaming to come home to. Perhaps she will try to poison him." The characters resolve to leave the watch on the Musaraigne d'Egrappage somewhere where Catherine Iphegenia will find it before Sanchez does.
Winston-Smythe reports that the English have placed new bounties upon the characters' old friend Captain Walsingham. The bounty on Walsingham is 400 pounds, plus an additional 1000 pounds for the destruction of his ship Varangian. In addition, there is a bounty of 30 pounds for each of the Varangian's officers and 15 pounds for each of the Varangian's crew.
NB 1 pound = 12.5 Lv.
The trip to Earth is forty days long, featuring nightly games of whist. Winston-Smythe spends whatever time he doesn't burn at the whist table training the crew. Thanks to his efforts, every crewman gains one point in Spacer skill (to a maximum of two points) and one point in Free Fall (to a maximum of four points).
The trip is otherwise uneventful. The Musaraigne d'Egrappage touches down in the harbor of Calais right on schedule. The characters chose Calais because it's just a short hop across the Channel to find all the bad English food you can eat. The characters say goodbye to their passengers, register their cargo with the customs inspectors and the port brokers, and look for rumors. They find out that the longshoremen are on strike again, so there's going to be no cargo unloading anytime soon.
Winston-Smythe tells the crew to guard the cargo while the characters go off and look at the aetheric sledges on a transport in the bay. Smith tells the others that he's off to get a good buffing first. He finds a strapping young blacksmith lad to buff his torso. All this talk causes Baranov to forget about aetheric sledges and go searching for a reputable brothel. He brings Winston-Smythe along, commenting, "I know you Englishmen are cheap, but you can watch. But you can't watch me."
Two days later, the characters go to investigate the sledges. The transport is out in the middle of the harbor, and it is quite easy to find folks with telescopes looking at it. Winston-Smythe applies his Expert (Aetherships) skill to what he sees. He observes six aetheric sledges lashed to the transport hull. Each features a single-use sail of similar (but much simpler) design to the characters' new ship's boat rig. The sledges also have very durable hulls, with runners for landing on solid ground. It is clear that they are intended as dedicated landing craft, and that their sails are probably one-use at best.
On the way back to the Musaraigne d'Egrappage Baranov comments, "I think we have time to kill until the longshoremen stop rioting."
Winston-Smythe asks, "You want to go shopping for dresses?"
Baranov replies, "No."
The characters are sitting in a coffee house complaining about the ongoing strike when they are approaches by Peter Vencenne, who claims to be a local merchant. He invites them to visit his estate outside of town.
Winston-Smythe calls out, "Baranov! A strange man wants us to come home with him! What should we do?"
Baranov replies, "Sure, I say we go along with it."
They depart in the morning. Along the way, Vencenne asks about their various adventures. It turns out he is already familiar with some of their doings, in part because he knows some members of the Pépin family.
His estate is a very nice place out in the countryside. The characters are given quarters in the guest wing and invited down to dinner at eight.
After dinner, Vencenne explains his problems. His sister Adeline Legard and her husband Mathieu Legard are trapped in the city of Antwerp in the Belgian Provinces. Mathieu is a lawyer, and had been staying in the city for several months for business. The Dutch have sealed the city and closed the port and French troops are advancing upon it from the South. He fears that the situation could become ugly, and so do they: he recently received a letter from his sister asking that he find a way to get them out of the city. He asks that the characters arrange this for him.
The characters agree to Vencenne's request. Their plan is simple: Catherine Iphegenia Pépin forges some English paperwork. The rest of the characters travel into Amsterdam in the ship's boat, renamed to Trafalgar for the occasion. This plan doesn't work out well: the Dutch customs official sees through their papers instantly and indicates that he must impound their vessel. Winston-Smythe charms him into letting the characters go.
The characters finally make it across the Belgian border after landing in some nameless German potentate with no customs officials to speak of. Baranov resolves to purchase a pair of the daintiest knickers he can locate, in a size that isn't Catherine Iphegenia's. He expects to leave them as something else for her to find. The next time she sends the characters off, she might have a reason to send them with bad paperwork.
In the new plan, Baranov is the Russian ambassador to the Netherlands. To support this image, the characters hire a carriage and four horses for 100 Lv and a Russian driver for 50 Lv.
The characters make their way to the outskirts of Antwerp to find that Dutch soldiers barricade the city bridges. In the daylight, it is clear that there are many people inside the city who are not being allowed out. Likewise, the suburbs the characters pass through are largely deserted.
They find lodging and some food in one of the few common-houses that is still operating. Baranov decides that the best way to get into the city would be by boat, under cover of darkness. He asks around for anyone who might have one for sale or rent, but he cannot find anyone who is even willing to admit that they know what a boat is. He stomps over to where Winston-Smythe is playing cards and demands that the Englishman stop wasting time and help. Winston-Smythe shushes him away until the end of the hand, then turns to remark, "So sorry, but I just won title to a house on the river and a boat. What exactly did you want?" Baranov doesn't know what to say.
The characters head down the street to check out their new property. The place is a nice stone house, a bit small for them but still quite respectable. Unfortunately, it is occupied by four ruffians who have plainly been spending their available looting hour wisely. The characters make quick work of three of them and capture the fourth.
The ruffians' goods are primarily preserved foodstuffs. They also have a nice pile of assorted clothing (including some really fancy ladies' gowns) and four goats.
Baranov turns to interrogating the captive. He asks if anyone is running boats across the river.
The ruffian replies, "Two or three go across every night!"
Baranov congratulates the man, "You just won yourself some first aid and a role as our mascot!"
Emboldened, the ruffian tells him that smugglers and looters go over to the city and back every night. Some get caught; he doesn't know what happens to them as the troops just take them away. He knows some who are still operating. The characters decide to hire them.
The leader of the smuggling gang is a tough-looking Belgian named Snake. He has a dozen men, well-armed with muskets, flintlocks, pikes, and sabers. They find him in a substantial house whose main room is stacked with purloined consumer goods.
Baranov starts the conversation very directly, "We want to hire you to take us across."
Snake objects, "You'd be taking up valuable looting space."
Baranov points out, "But we'd be paying you in hard money."
Snake points out, "Why don't I just take it from you?"
Baranov gestures to Smith. Smith provides a demonstration: he slashes a nearby table into two pieces. Then Winston-Smythe shoots the mechanical man with his pistol. The bullet pings off Smith's breastplate to no effect.
Snake reconsiders, "Okay, maybe I'm not going to try that. How ‘bout 300 guilders?"
An agreement is made. The characters retire to their carriage to pick up dark clothing and long guns. Snake points out that his guys don't bring in long guns because they think the soldiers might hang people with long guns if they find them. Baranov and Winston-Smythe don't know any better, but they think it sounds plausible. They leave the long guns behind.
Snake and his men ferry the characters to the base of a bridge support. Snake points out a sewer access that has been broken open. He tells them that they can reach the city by following the markers, and urges them to be quiet until they get past the blockades (right above them). The characters easily follow the whitewash-painted markers and make their way into the streets of Antwerp.
Their journey to the Legards' townhouse is uneventful. Their first problems come when they realize that Dutch soldiers have established a blockade practically in front of the Legards' door. They review their options and decide to head in over the backyard walls of the adjacent townhouses.
This strategy works well enough to get them to the Legards' basement door. Baranov uses the letter of introduction Peter Vencenne provided to persuade the couple to emerge and follow them.
The troubles begin when they make enough noise on the way out to draw the attention of some Dutch soldiers. Two soldiers led by a pike-armed sergeant show up to investigate. Smith and Baranov cut down the sergeant and one of the soldiers. The second soldier flees, affording Winston-Smythe the chance to pick up his discarded musket.
Then the characters flee through the streets. Their journey out is far less uneventful than the trip in. First they run straight into two soldiers looting a shop. Smith cuts them down. Once again, Winston-Smythe takes advantage of the situation and brings along the keg of beer one of them had found. Then, mere yards shy of the sewer entry they run into four hussars in the fish market. Smith and Baranov stand behind to stop them while Winston-Smythe brings the Legards to safety. Smith manages to cut down three hussars, leaving only one for Baranov. Baranov sulks.
No sooner have the characters made it back across then river than they retrieve their carriage and head away from the city. On the way out, Winston-Smythe asks, "What do I do with title to a house?"
Smith responds, "Use it as a stake in a gambling game?"
Baranov slaps the mechanical man on the back, "Good idea, Smith!"
The session ends with the characters' successful return to Calais. Each character gains three experience points.