Most of us elect to rise with the dawn to catch an early showing of Minority Report. Chuck and Paul (Kumar Singh) decide that they'd really rather sleep in, and by the time they manage to hook up with Bruce (Arthur Michael Vincent Pulfrey-Downs), Tim (Serpentine!) and Chris (Michael Sangaree) it is clear that everyone should have followed their wise decision.
The start of the session finds Arthur Michael Vincent Pulfrey-Downs working with the captured Mole Man's underground traveling apparatus. "Put this on!" he tells Serpentine, who feel vaguely ridiculous. Pulfrey-Downs reassures him that he looks no more ridiculous now than he does as Serpentine. He fights crime!
Pulfrey-Downs checks Serpentine out, moves to a safe distance, and turns the apparatus on with a long stick. There is a humming sound and a scent of ozone, and Serpentine finds himself suddenly neck deep in sand and acting as if he's treading water. He notices that the bleed-over from the suit feels like ants in his pants. Moving around is more difficult than swimming through water, but he finds that he can adjust the anti-frictionalization field to get more purchase.
Serpentine shouts, "Pulfrey-Downs! I can't breathe!" Pulfrey-Downs shouts back, "There are a couple more switches. I'll go get my stick and turn them on." One of them puts a nasty taste into the air. One of them causes Serpentine to be stuck in the sand as if it were concrete. Pulfrey-Downs realizes that that switch controls the Polarity Reversificator. He is overjoyed by the possibilities, while Serpentine is horrified at the possibility of being locked in a concrete-like matrix under ground.
The only ranch building still intact is the TNT Shack. Michael Sangaree and Kumar Singh pull the debris apart and pull some of the non-sweating dynamite sticks away. They fly back to the oil derrick in the Spad because Sangaree's plane is seriously busted.
During the flight, it becomes clear that Fenris thinks Dumaki is a plush toy. Dumaki responds by taking refuge on Kumar Singh's head. Everyone notices the strange sulfurous smell. Michael Sangaree asks Kumar Singh, "Why does the doctor have sulfur? I know it's an important ingredient in dynamite and devil-worship, but... Oh god, he's a devil-worshipper." Kumar Singh refrains from comment.
They land to find Serpentine dressed in a silvery, form-fitting mole-man costume. Kumar Singh finally finds his voice, groaning out, "Oh god, that's so indecent. Don't look down."
Serpentine asks the others, "How do we track the Sand-Sub?", ignoring the way Fenris growls at the Mole-man costume. Pulfrey-Downs rather cheerfully says, "I'll build a detector using Fenris' nose!" Sangaree indicates that he has personal need for Fenris' nose, and would not look kindly upon Pulfrey-Downs' borrowing it. Pulfrey-Downs ignores him, mentioning, "Kumar Singh, hand me the meat cleaver." He accepts the object Kumar Singh proffers, then heads towards Fenris. Serpentine mentions, "I don't know what you think you're holding, but that's not a cleaver." Pulfrey-Downs examines the object in his hand and responds, "Goodness, you're right. It's a five iron." Kumar Singh shrugs, murmuring "Slice..."
Serpentine decides that this is going nowhere, and applies his near-superhuman investigative skills to the existing evidence of Sand-Sub raids. He tells the others, "I don't think I need a pattern, 'cause I got five successes." Serpentine goes on to say that Horatio Mycroft Pulfrey-Downs is following a very orderly pattern of attack, starting from the north. His lair is probably somewhere around Black Bart's Butte, though the pattern of attack is designed to make it look like the attackers are coming from the Box Canyon.
Michael Sangaree has a straightforward plan: "I think we should go off and look around the Butte. I also think that the Sheriff is in cahoots with the Mole-Men. After all, he did show up at the oil well. Pulfrey-Downs, do you think the suit would work on oil as well?" Pulfrey-Downs responds, "Let's find out. Serpentine, please stand over the wellhead." Serpentine demurs, "I'm not wearing the suit anymore, the others said it was weirding them out. Plus it makes me look fat. I fight crime!" Sangaree suggests, "Perhaps you could have put something else on afterwards." It develops that Serpentine is as pretty as an anime villain. And is really interested in becoming the Naked Avenger.
The characters eventually manage to work out a plan. They will drive to the Butte with the Spad in the back of the truck, then send Michael Sangaree and Fenris up to fly around the butte.
It isn't long after Michael Sangaree takes off that he notices a few tracers zip past his starboard wing, obviously from someone down on the ground. He breaks into a few quick evasive maneuvers and looks for the source, spotting a prepared bunker on the top of the butte. The barrel of a machine gun protrudes from one of the bunker's ports. He wheels around and empties the twin Lewis guns into the emplacement. By the time the guns click empty, there's nothing left of the gun emplacements except a burning mess.
By this time the other characters have noticed that there is gunfire going on. Kumar Singh fires up the truck engine and drives in towards the butte. The characters reach the base unopposed and dismount to commence the long climb up. Kumar Singh and Pulfrey-Downs make their way up in a very workmanlike manner, while Serpentine takes advantage of the Claw of Apepi to practically walk up the side of the butte.
The characters fan out across the top of the butte, looking for secret passages and doors. They are generally disappointed with their findings. In dramatic contrast, Michael Sangaree notices that a substantial-sized dirigible is inbound towards the butte. A moment later, he sees several smaller aircraft separate from the dirigible. There are four of them, and Sangaree is quick to dub them "baby Spads" for all that they are more likely to be ornithopters or autogyros.
Even from the ground the characters can hear Michael Sangaree's mighty yell of, "Yeeeeeeeee haw!" as he flies to the attack. His plan is elegantly simple: shoot-shoot-shoot-dodge! His initial volley hits the lead pilot in the head. With a Lewis gun. In the dark. The stricken aircraft tumbles to destruction, all control shattered. Two more bursts follow, and two more autogyros spiral into the dark. The fourth is more resilient, avoiding Sangaree's gunfire for the space of two bursts, until its pilot's luck runs out and it joins its fellows in oblivion.
Confident in his victory, Michael Sangaree approaches closer to the dirigible. He is terribly disturbed to find that the thing is quite well-armed. He sees two large rotary engines, three gun turrets on one flank and three more on the other side. The turrets open up on the Spad, ripping through supports and airframe. Down on the ground, Pulfrey-Downs recoils in almost physical shock as he sees how the mad Texan is treating his plane.
Unconscious to Pulfrey-Downs' concerns but well aware that the Spad cannot stand up to the wall of lead the dirigible is producing, Michael Sangaree decides to execute a sharp diving attack to destroy one of the engines. His attack is moderately successful, but the dirigible's response inflicts several more points of damage, dropping the Spad down to "Maimed." Pulfrey-Downs howls out, "He's hurting my plane! My plane is maimed! Aieee!" Kumar Singh groans and looks for the tranquilizer darts.
The characters realize that the dirigible is dropping altitude and heading towards them. The decision is made: they must board and take the thing! Pulfrey-Downs works up a quick grapple from rope and a tire-iron. He hands them to Kumar Singh with the comment, "Gobey, you'll want to throw this through the engine bracket up there." Kumar Singh indicates that Serpentine should be the one for this sort of task. Serpentine is practically bouncing up and down with excitement at the prospect of being allowed to throw things. He clutches the grapple, gauges its weight, and hurls it towards the dirigible. He asks the other characters, "Are six successes enough?" They respond enthusiastically, "Yes!" Serpentine admits, "Well, I don't have six. How about one?" It turns out that this is enough: the rope catches and Serpentine monkeys his way up, followed by Kumar Singh and Pulfrey-Downs.
Noting that his companions are boarding the dirigible, Sangaree decides to try and join them. His plan is to fly the Spad down behind and underneath the dirigible, land, grab the rope, and then climb away as the Spad taxis along. Much to his surprise, this plan works flawlessly. Sangaree comments, "Good! As soon as I reach the dirigible, I'm going to have to drink."
Serpentine clambers across the dirigible flank and swings in through a side window. He finds two pistol-armed goons there, waiting for him. Yelling savagely, he strikes both of them with the Claw of Apepi. They are quickly reinforced by two more of their companions, goons with a less-than-average sense of their own mortality. Serpentine looks at the four of them and shouts back to the other characters, "What do I do now?" Sangaree yells back from his position on the rope, "I recommend that you kill them all!" Serpentine explodes into a Kumar Singh-like frenzy of violence, dropping three of them in an instant but leaving himself completely open for the attack of the fourth.
Back on the rope, Michael Sangaree tells Pulfrey-Downs, "Professor! If we manage to capture this thing, we should take it back to your lab! We could use this to pick up chicks." Pulfrey-Downs reaches for the engine mount and responds, "Absolutely! But it's just like you to come up with the lowest possible purpose for this miraculous scientific apparatus. Could you stop swinging the rope down there?" Sangaree protests, "But I'm trying to drink!"
It is at this point that several more gentlemen show up with guns and shoot at the characters on the rope. The bullets zip harmlessly by. Kumar Singh reaches the top of the rope and savages two of the goons at the top.
Kumar Singh and Serpentine watch as the goon factory produces another three goons for each of them. Serpentine exclaims in disbelief, "How many guys are there on this thing?" Pulfrey-Downs clambers to the deck only to be attacked by two more goons. He dispatches them handily in a flawless demonstration of scientific riflery. Behind him, Sangaree swears a blue storm as yet another goon shoots a hole in his jacket.
By now, all of the characters have lost count of the actual number of opponents they face. This troubles several of them not at all, as they unleash a veritable whirlwind of destruction. Their efforts are not without difficulties, as when Michael Sangaree discovers that instead of his customary .45 Colt Auto he is now armed with a jammed .45 Colt Auto.
By the time the excitement dies down, the characters have accounted for a total of twenty-five of Horatio Mycroft Pulfrey-Downs' minions. They notice that most of the minions were armed with surplus Franco-Prussian War equipment.
Sangaree leads the characters towards the command deck. He notices a ninja-type guy (actually, a Black Lotus enforcer) hiding in the shadows getting ready to throw something. The Black Lotus enforcer obviously thinks he's doing a bang-up job of hiding, totally unaware that his keen black pajamas are sticking out in plain view. He and his three friends step out and prepare to throw. Michael Sangaree realizes what the ninjas are carrying and yells, "Grenades!" He dodges to the side as Serpentine and Kumar Singh rush into the fray. The Black Lotus men throw their grenades.
The grenades burst, spreading a cloud of intoxicating opium gas through the corridor. All of the characters except for Pulfrey-Downs are engulfed by the gas and suffer its effects: +2 difficulty to everything, but no wound penalties. Pulfrey-Downs stands back behind some crates and fires careful, precise shots at the Black Lotus Tong ninjas.
The more violent characters manage to make short work of the Black Lotus men, dispatching all of them except for one who leaps into a side chamber and then heads for the ground on a convenient rope (the dirigible is now only about 15 feet from the ground).
The characters advance into the command deck, Serpentine and Kumar Singh leading the way. They find a man in a captain's uniform gagged and tied to a chair. Multiple sticks of dynamite are strapped to his body, along with a complicated-looking timer. Serpentine pulls the gag off.
Pulfrey-Downs marches to the front, intent upon disarming the bomb. He realizes that the clock on the bomb is the desk clock from his school days, one that had been stolen years ago: a Sigmund Freud Signature Patek Philippe rotary clock, with exposed works. He disarms it, realizing that Horatio Mycroft made the works look complicated in an effort to disguise their essential simplicity. He snips the proper wires, then calls out, "Gobey! Could you come in here to dispose of the dynamite!"
The characters are able to learn that the Black Lotus men surprised the captain, tied him up and strapped the bomb to him. The captain was able to determine that the bomb was already prepared when the Black Lotus brought it out. Hoping to learn more, Serpentine tries to interrogate one of the ninjas, the one Kumar Singh cut in half. This doesn't work.
The Captain is set to working on preventing the dirigible from crashing, but he's far too rattled to do anything right. Sangaree pushes him out of the way and shows him how it's done, bringing the dirigible in for a smooth landing. The dirigible grinds down onto the rocky surface of the butte, then slowly deflates.
The session ends with the characters in command of a deflating, crashed dirigible on the top of Black Bart's Butte. Each character gains three experience points.