Chuck shows up with a huge pot of gumbo, greatly enhancing everyone else's life experience. Bruce (Arthur Michael Vincent Pulfrey-Downs) busies himself by preparing rice. Paul (Kumar Singh) decides to show up slightly late after a quick visit at our friendly neighborhood Jiffy Lube. Chris (Michael Sangaree) shows up even later, hoping to arrive just as the gumbo is ready to serve. Billy (Chang Fan Yo) shows up when he feels the stars are right. And Tim (Serpentine!) decides once again that family is more important than hanging out with his ne'er-do-well friends and heads off to see his brother instead.
The curtain opens to find the characters standing in the remains of Granny Fong's opium den, surrounded by piles of dead Tong members. They decide that they should head to the District Manager's place. Michael Sangaree asks the others, "What do we do with the old woman? Should we just hand her over to the cops and tell 'em that they should arrest her because she saw us gunning down a bunch of Tong guys?" Arthur Michael Vincent Pulfrey-Downs, pleased with this new side of his companion's personality, responds: "Exactly! The authorities will easily be able to tell that we are men of virtue and integrity." Michael Sangaree questions the Englishman: "Why? Because we're white?"
The characters divvy up the Tong goons' Thompsons, noting that none of them have any ammunition left. Pulfrey-Downs takes one and immediately commences clucking over it, theorizing on how he can miniaturize the thing. Michael Sangaree takes the other five for his personal collection.
The characters finally decide to find a new hotel for Annabelle Skaggs to stay at, and then to prepare for their trip to Texas. On the way to the hotel, Kumar Singh asks, "How many doctorates do you have, Pulfrey?" Pulfrey-Downs modestly responds, "All of them. I've been to Cambridge. And Oxford. And Harvard, but only on a dare you must understand."
The characters drop off Annabelle Skaggs and her companion Wayne Jones in their new accommodations under an assumed name, then head off on a side trip to let Kumar Singh buy them some .45 ammunition. Outside the sporting goods store, Pulfrey-Downs rather disinterestedly tells him, "Here's some bullion, go buy some ammo", then drops several gold coins into Kumar Singh's hands. Kumar Singh simply pockets the gold and pays cash.
| Vehicle | Safe Speed | Max Speed | Maneuver | Passengers | Armor |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Late-model Auto | 60 | 120 | 5 | 5 | 2 |
The car pulls away from the curb when Kumar Singh suddenly realizes that the characters are being tailed. He yells out, "Dumaki! Get down! Oh, you too Doctor." Michael Sangaree slews the car to one side as automatic weapons fires rakes past. He stomps the gas pedal down and wheels around a corner, then watches with pleasure as the pursuing vehicle slews out of control and loses a wheel on the curb. Pulfrey-Downs pops up out of a window and blazes away at the car with his newly-acquired Thompson gun, completely immobilizing it: by the time he runs out of bullets the engine is shattered and all the remaining tires are flat. Michael Sangaree turns about and hits the brakes. No sooner has the characters' vehicle swayed to a stop than Kumar Singh and Chang Fan Yo tumble out and rush the downed vehicle, braving the occupants' gunfire. And that of Pulfrey-Downs, who unloads another Thompson clip into the driver.
Chang Fan Yo breezes past the crippled driver to hammer the man in the shotgun position. Kumar Singh heads around to the other side, where he is caught off-guard by two more gunsels. He worries for a moment, but breaks into carefree laughter as his foes' punches are blunted upon his silk-steel armor. The two of them make quick work of their foes, deftly avoiding getting shot in the back by either Pulfrey-Downs or Michael Sangaree.
Pulfrey-Downs' reloads his Thompson, yells out, "Gobey! Duck!" then lets off a quick three-round burst to cripple one of the two survivors. Brapapapapapap! Michael Sangaree calls, "Somebody capture one! Alive!" then follows his own advice by shooting the other survivor in the head, delivering a meager 5 levels of lethal damage to the fellow, who falls.
Chang Fan Yo looks about to find that the only remaining opponent is on the other side of the car, creeping up behind Kumar Singh. He hurls himself feet-first through the car to kick the guy, hitting him square on the ribcage and inflicting enough damage to knock him down and out (15 dice of damage, +1 die bonus for a cool stunt). Kumar Singh takes 3 dice of damage from the flying bone fragments.
The characters collect their two-and-a-half captives and take them to a nice dark corner. On the waterfront. They debate using the "bad cop-worse cop" interrogation technique, but finally settle upon the more time-tested "worse cop-monstrous cop" option. Unfortunately, all they learn is that Pulfrey-Downs' brother sent the team to kill them. Kumar Singh, tiring of this endless array of know-nothing goons, sighs and suggests, "Okay, let's carve his eyes out." Michael Sangaree nods and considers the suggestion, "Well, that sounds... fair... I'd hate to owe money to you." This proves to be enough to convince the Tong goon to spill whatever is left of his guts, saying that "Big Boss Round-Eyes isn't anywhere near New York. We just know what he wants us to do." He tells the characters that the goons were supposed to kidnap the girl and her companion and take them to a small airport outside of town.
With information like that, it takes mere seconds for the characters to drive over to attack the airfield. They engage in the barest minimum of reconnaissance, enough to determine that there are one truck and two cars in the parking lot, and a small plane idling on the runway. The assault plan is very simple: Michael Sangaree and Chang Fan Yo infiltrate from the North, across the Yonkers Parkway. Their goal is to disable the plane. Pulfrey-Downs and Kumar Singh approach from the West, from the Empire State Highway. Their role is to pour sugar into the vehicles' gas tanks, preventing a getaway on the ground..
The approach works well until a Kung Fu Army of seven guys spots Chang Fan Yo as he passes the hangar. He joyfully rushes into fisticuffs, leaving Michael Sangaree to deal with the plane. Michael Sangaree finds the door of the plane open and the pilot asleep. Even better, once he sneaks inside he finds that Margaret Lang (previously kidnapped by the Tong) is tied up in the back. He unties her and lets her know what is going on.
Once he is convinced that the pilot isn't going to be suddenly awakened by the sounds of a blazingly fast, almost-indestructible Chang Fan Yo shattering seven Tong goons into fragments, Michael Sangaree gets into position and shoots the pilot in the head. His shot is beautiful: it nicely parts the man's hair, waking him instantly. Sangaree feels that he would have been more impressed by his own shooting if he hadn't been planning on simply killing the guy. It also becomes clear that the pilot is some sort of European. Sangaree decides that he's not going to be talking to the guy, so he shoots him instead. The pilot responds by opening fire. They trade shots until Sangaree finally manages to knock the pilot down.
With a quick look out the plane door, Michael Sangaree confirms that the only Chinaman still moving out near the hangar is Chang Fan Yo, and that he's headed for the office (doubtless to investigate the thundering sounds of automatic weapons fire). Sangaree turns to Margaret Lang and asks her, "Is Pulfrey-Downs' brother here? You know, a sort of evil-looking megalomaniac in a stovepipe hat?" Margaret's expression is puzzled: "Who?" Michael Sangaree tells her, "Never mind, let's just look for some Chinamen to shoot. Oh! Except for the one who's friendly." They head over to the office on Chang Fan Yo's heels.
Pulfrey-Downs and Kumar Singh have little trouble disabling the cars. To pass the time, Pulfrey-Downs sneaks up to the office, "To look for some of my brother's correspondence." Kumar Singh sighs and shakes his head, then follows at a safe distance.
Pulfrey-Downs sneaks up to the office and peers inside. He notices that a gang of ten Tong members is inside, discussing when the remaining prisoners (including the traitorous Chinaman who works for the white devils) will show up. Pulfrey-Downs motions for Kumar Singh to approach, then explains his intention to open the door and announce to the Tong goons that they are all under arrest. Kumar Singh turns an interesting shade of appalled, but doesn't make any particular effort to stop his boss from this novel form of suicide.
Pulfrey-Downs casts open the office door and rather grandly pronounces that everyone should just give up right now. The Tong goons promptly leap to their feet and attack. Bullets fly. Swords swing. And neither Pulfrey-Downs nor Kumar Singh is injured at the end of it.
Kumar Singh turns into a wolverine of knives and pushes forward into the crowd. As usual. He cuts down Tong soldiers right and left, leaving his boss to send stunningly ineffective bursts of Thompson gunfire into the room. This has the entirely understandable effect that most of the Tong soldiers spend most of their attention upon Kumar Singh, which suits the little Sikh just fine.
Chang Fan Yo bursts into the office to find only four guys left: two gunmen facing Pulfrey-Downs, and two very hurt-looking martial artists fighting Kumar Singh. He executes the Whirling Heaven Dragon Kick against one gunman, knocking the man into the back wall of the office. Pulfrey-Downs pops up, a fresh clip in his gun, and drops the last gunman with a quick burst. Kumar Singh finishes the remaining two. Michael Sangaree shows up a moment later, Margaret Lang in tow, clearly disappointed that nobody thought to save a Chinaman for him. Pulfrey-Downs consoles him by pointing out that he got to shoot a European, which should be as good as shooting a dozen Chinamen. Chang Fan Yo looks at Pulfrey-Downs with undisguised horror, but refrains from breaking his scrawny neck.
The characters commence tossing the office. They find nothing more interesting than the airport foreman, who was tied up behind a file cabinet. Disappointed, Pulfrey-Downs suggests going to the plane to look for a flight plan. On the way over, Michael Sangaree complains that he had to shoot the pilot seven times before he died. It turns out that the pilot didn't have a formal flight plan written out, but did have a map book containing aeronautical maps for a route New York and Texas.
A quick consensus develops: the characters will go to Texas. They fetch Annabelle and Dwayne, refill Michael Sangaree's flask of bourbon, load up Origami Spad and take off less than two hours after leaving the Tong at the airfield.
Towards the end of a rather long flight, Michael Sangaree announces that the group has just passed over the Texas border. He crows out that he's, "happier than a dead pig in the sun!" Everyone else in the plane looks back at him as if he's madder than a Hatter. He is forced to explain that it's a local expression. He then deflects any further questions by claiming that he is "busier than a one-legged whore in a two-bit factory." Another local expression, no doubt.
Michael Sangaree puts the plane down at the Skaggs' ranch, taxiing it over towards the barn. The characters pile out and head towards the ranch house, where they meet up with Joe Bob Skaggs, who is quite glad to see his daughter Annabelle back in one piece.
The session ends with the characters down at the Skaggs Ranch, quite a piece outside of Midland, Texas. Arthur Michael Vincent Pulfrey-Downs is more than ready to start hunting for Mole-Men. Each character gains three experience points.